American Idol: And Then There Were 5

No surprises tonight.  Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai are gone.  The producers brought lip syncing back to a singing show.  Scott MacIntyre is still gone.

The return of David Archuleta and his contagious smile reminds me that this group just doesn’t have characters that you really care about.  Just about any one of them could get tossed and so what?  Scott was the guy that displayed joy and made people happy.

Here’s how the final five stack up.

Worry About Your Own Sin

Are evangelical Christians too tough on homosexuals?  Monday’s USA Today featured an article called An Evangelical’s Plea: ‘Love the sinner’ by Jonathan Merritt who takes on this issue.  Merritt contends that his fellow American believers are hypocritical by claiming to follow Jesus Christ yet condemning gay men and lesbians.

While Merritt believes that God’s model is “lifelong, monogamous, heterosexual union,” he’s asking where the love is these days.  The old mantra of “love the sinner, hate the sin” isn’t working out he claims.  There’s plenty of sin hating but little sinner loving.

I remember sitting offstage in a  TV studio a few years ago as Dr. Tony Campolo, radical evangelist dynamo conducted an interview for a future broadcast.  I had escorted Tony and his wife Peggy from the airport.  The host asked about all the tough issues facing Christians and what Campolo believed.  Then that host asked for a clarification to a point.  

The question went something like “so we should love the sinner and hate the sin?”

Peggy Campolo backhanded my forearm and gulped a sound that seemed to mean “oh brother” and yuck all at once.  She had heard this before.  I was intrigued.

On the stage, under the lights, Dr. Campolo squared against the interviewer and responded.  “No.  You should love the sinner and worry about your own sin.”

I will never forget that.  You shouldn’t either whether you’re a Muslim, atheist, Catholic, or whatever.

Tiananmen Tea Party

Last week’s tea parties wound down quietly, then the protesters went home.  No one stopped them.  No one showed up to threaten them.

In China twenty years ago a spontaneous protest against frightening government controls led to the deadly conflict in Tiananmen Square. The incident culminated with hundreds, perhaps thousands, dead in what is called the June 4th Massacre by government opponents. The political establishment watered down the massacre by declaring it The Political Turmoil Between the Spring and Summer of 1989. That’s not very catchy. So much for Chinese public relations.

Protesters originally gathered to mourn the loss of Hu Yaobang, a popular, pro-democracy leader who died that spring.  A wave of anti-communist sentiment had been sweeping across the hemisphere.  The Soviet Union was on the brink of collapse, and Yaobang spoke positively of democratic reforms in Asia’s dominant nation.

Many of the protesters came from universities, students and teachers impacted by Yaobang’s encouragement of free press and speech.  They gathered by the thousands in Beijing and began calling for immediate reform and economic change.  The West watched as the movement grew.  For weeks, the protesters pushed their agenda, even using hunger strikes to sacrificially offer themselves for the good of their countrymen.

Great Scott! It’s George McFly’s Birthday

Today is Crispin Glover’s birthday.  Glover gave life to one of the greatest underdogs in Hollywood lore.  George Douglas McFly is the loveable loser from Back To The Future, one of the greatest trilogies ever created.

Some people mistakenly believe that Glover played the diminishing role of Marty’s father in the Back To The Future sequels, but the role was recast and played by Jeffrey Weissman.  With the help of some special effects and brilliant mimicry, the actor switch is usually undetectable even by watchful fans.

Glover ended up suing over the use of his character, and the Screen Actor’s Guild tweaked the rules for future cases.  Nevertheless, Glover made the role what it is, a man who overcomes relatable fears by standing up to the prototypical bully, Biff Tannen.  Here is a sampling.

Here’s another one that’s great fun.  Someone combined BTTF with Barrack Obama.  Very creative. 

Braveheart, Weird Science, & Kevin Bacon

[Did you know that Robert the Bruce is one of my ancestors? For reals. Check out the story here.]

By now you all know that Braveheart is the greatest movie of all time. You’re welcome to disagree, but that makes you a horrible person.

Turns out, through much genealogical digging by my fellow-dorkish family, that yours truly is personally related to the real Robert the Bruce, the 14th Century Scottish noble who was really stupid to William Wallace and the commoners before wising up and deciding to lead the freedom-seeking revolutionaries of Scotland.

In Braveheart, Robert the Bruce is played by Angus MacFadyen. The versatile actor has kept busy since that blockbuster work in 1995. He’s done a bunch of stuff from portraying Peter Lawford of the Rat Pack to many recent appearances in the dark and popular Saw movies.

Since the Bruce and I are practically brothers, I’ve given some more thought to my conflicted, old ancestor and the man who once portrayed him. That’s when I started thinking about another movie, Weird Science.

The popular comedy Weird Science was made in 1985. The famous high school fantasy flick features characters Gary and Wyatt who create the quintessential bombshell Lisa, played by Kelly LeBrock. Gary is played by Brat Pack star Anthony Michael Hall whose acting career is still going strong these days. Wyatt was played by Iian Mitchell-Smith. His life took a surprising turn away from fame.

Mitchell-Smith left acting in the early 90s to pursue his love of history and enter academia. An interesting website Bearotic also found this forgotten man post-worthy. Check out this photo they tracked down of the camera shy professor (on the right, pictured in 2000). These days he specializes in medieval studies including 14th Century England, Scotland, and (you guessed it) Robert the Bruce. Maybe this connection explains the modern look.

So in case you were wondering, and I’m sure not one person in the world was, Wyatt from Weird Science did not portray my granddaddy Robert the Bruce in Braveheart.

By the way, Weird Science goon Bill Paxton later appeared in Tombstone with Kurt Russell who appeared with Mel Gibson in Tequila Sunrise. Gibson and Julia Roberts were in Conspiracy Theory (1997) together, and Roberts was in Flatliners (1990) with Kevin Bacon.

The bottom line is that you no longer have to fret over how to connect Wyatt from Weird Science to Kevin Bacon. I’m sure you were troubled.

Have you ever been surprised to find out where an actor ended up?

Got any good Kevin Bacon connections?

 

Bill Guerin For President Of Awesomeness

Since Billy Guerin arrived in Pittsburgh last month, he has filled a need on Sidney Crosby’s wing, earned the respect of his teammates, and provided the leadership of a veteran who knows what it takes to win a Stanley Cup.  After last night, you can add a vital element to that list.  He also scores huge goals including overtime winners in the playoffs.

Guerin’s been on the wrong side of the Penguins since he entered the league way back in 1991-92 with the New Jersey Devils.  He’s a career +60 despite playing on some bad teams.  His 400+ career goals include 73 game winners.

Like a wily wide receiver in football, the veteran winger knows how to sneak into soft spots on the ice.  From those areas he unleashes wicked snap shots, great finishers for Crosby’s nightly dose of precision passes. 

Guerin is also earning a growing leadership role on the team.  He has consistently stood up for new teammates, even dropping the gloves against overaggressive opponents if necessary.  In the first week of April, he took on New Jersey’s David Clarkson just a few days before going toe to toe with Tampa Bay giant Evgeni Artyukhin, the thickest 6’5 skater in hockey and one of the league’s leader in hits.  That’s how Guerin leads, by doing whatever is necessary at any point in time.

Last night, goals were needed badly as the Flyers continually withstood a healthy barrage of offense and shots.  Guerin put the Penguins on the board in the second period, but during overtime he sealed the victory with his first ever playoff winner.

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

It’s playoff time!  No, I’m not talking about the NBA which is a complete waste of everything useful.  (If you’re not sure how I feel here you go.)

We’re talking the NHL playoffs, a season within a season, the greatest championship tournament in any sport anywhere in the world.  You’re certainly entitled to disagree, but that makes you a terrible person.

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Around here it’s all about the Pittsburgh Penguins and Captain Crosby.  There’s also that Malkin guy too, frontrunner for the MVP.   The Pens are already up on the Philadelphia Flyers, hockey’s biggest band of pig-headed goons from the city of brotherly thugs. 

The Flyers led the league in penalties this year because that’s what they know.  You could rip a kid from seminary, throw him on the Flyers team, and he would be slashing at defenseless wrists in the first period.  That’s what they do.

So it was no surprise that after completely throttling Philly Wednesday, the goons spent the last few minutes trying to hurt dominant players.  The penalty box filled with orange jerseys before Daniel Carcillo slammed a fist and butt end of his stick into Max Talbot’s face with 7 seconds to go.  Classy move.  He’s not even as big a creep as cheapshot artist Scott Hartnell (pictured). 

But it starts with the organization and head coach, John Stevens, who was fined $10,000 for encouraging his scumbag skaters.  Carcillo is suspended for tonight’s game.

Remembering Virginia Tech

Two years ago today a pathetic coward killed 32 people on the campus of Virginia Tech.  The shooter, whose name isn’t even worth repeating, killed himself after a two hour rampage that became the deadliest shooting incident by a single gunman in U.S. history.

The killing spree gripped the nation, sparked a multitude of policy debates, and was mourned by millions.  Five faculty members and 27 students were killed.  Many others were wounded by gunshots or trying to escape.

Acts of heroism were reported after the attack.  Professors and students fought for their lives in rooms all over Norris Hall.  Doors were barricaded, hidden offices were located, and second-floor windows were opened for victims to jump from.  Some of the people holding doors shut were shot and killed.  Some of the leaders hiding students were shot.  Some of the jumpers were badly injured.  Multiple survivors reported brave, final actions by wounded students that allowed others time to escape.

As someone who works at a college, I find it impossible to really believe this could happen anywhere, but that’s how everybody thinks.  In the Virginia Tech massacre, the shooter simply entered classrooms, shot the teacher, and then opened fire on seemingly random students.  Like most campuses around the country, Va Tech is a weapons free zone, so no one was able to defend themselves.  By the time police arrived, the murderous monster was ready to shoot himself in the head, something he should have done weeks earlier. 

American Idol: And Then There Were STILL 7

So the judges finally used a save. I’d like to say I’m happy for dueling piano player Matt Giraud, but mostly I’m still bummed that Scott MacIntyre isn’t in the competition. Last night’s performances of songs from movies were the least interesting load of waste I’ve ever seen in one night of Idol.

Maybe I’m just bitter, but these characters aren’t as compelling as the best from the past couple of years. Mostly though, Scott brought such a different dimension than anyone has ever seen before, it’s not surprising that this week’s show actually led to a decrease in national voters.

So next week two people are going home.  You can throw Anoop and Lil into the bottom because they don’t stand a chance.  Adam seems solid, Kris and Danny are consistently decent, and the rest are just biding their time unless something changes.

As for the programming critique, it’s nice to see and hear the contestants actually singing during the ensemble performance. 

Of all the music that’s ever appeared in movies, the selected cuts were terrible.

Quentin Tarantino is scary looking.

Here’s how the field stacks up.

The IRS and Tooth Decay

Did you ever have that nightmare about going to the dentist?  I never have, but today is April 15th, tax day, and I keep having the nightmare about what the government is going to do to me. 

Tax offices are more frightening than dentists.  Luckily, I’ve found something that can help alleviate my fear. 

I recently heard a commercial offering “sleep dentistry.”  Now I’ve experienced dental cocktails that sedate you before having teeth worked on.  I even got the nitrous gas once for my wisdom teeth.  That was one of the better mornings of my life.  The cop that pulled my girlfriend over didn’t know what to make of me in the passenger seat, slumped and drooling like a boxer in the corner of the ring.

I don’t have much fear of dentists, so the radio ad didn’t appeal to me, but what about my fear of the IRS?  May I propose a hybrid approach to be known as Sleep Accounting?

Imagine how glorious doing your taxes could be!  You take a simple cocktail of sedatives before leaving your home (make sure you have a driver), arrive at the tax office feeling light and free, then get blasted with some nitrous.  You’ll be counting pink elephants while your accountant does the nasty business with your W-2s.

Accountants, like dentists, mostly want to help people.  I guess that makes the IRS analagous to pain, infection, and decay.

What You Don’t Know About Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln went to a play and was killed on this date 144 years ago.  The story of Lincoln’s assassination is one of the iconic images in our national memory.  Although Honest Abe was shot on the evening of April 14th, he did not pass away until hours later, on the 15th.  That morning, Vice President Andrew Johnson became the first man to assume the U.S. presidency as a result of an assassination.  Johnson took over the nation during the most divisive time in American history.  Less than three years later he became the first president to be impeached. 

What most people don’t know is that Andrew Johnson was Lincoln’s second vice president, and history would’ve been radically different had a man named Hannibal Hamlin taken over the White House in 1865.

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Hamlin was born in Maine (before it was a state) in 1809.  His career began as the concept of career politicians became popular.  He served in the House of Representatives and Senate for the Democrats. 

If you know  a little history, you might remember that Lincoln was the first Republican president, and the Republican party’s initial platform was opposition to slavery and the Democrats.  So how did Lincoln and Hamlin become a team?

Hamlin opposed slavery even during his twenty year tenure with the Democrats, the party that pushed through brutal measures against slaves in the 1850s.  When the Kansas-Nebraska Act was endorsed by the Dems in 1856, Hamlin broke from his party to join the newish Republicans.  The switch caused a national sensation. 

Thank God They Fired

Late in the night before Easter morning, a merchant captain who sacrificed his life to protect his crew stood on a lifeboat amidst three killers demanding ransom for their hostage. Just 25 yards away, three Navy SEAL sharpshooters held their positions, waiting for a chance to take one shot each at one terrorist each.

If any of the shooters were to miss, the remaining terrorists might very likely execute Captain Richard Phillips.

Imagine making that shot.  After waiting for days, the SEALs had to adjust for environmental factors, have a clear shot line, and control their sights over the bobbing waves.  Oh yeah, and it was nighttime.

Only 2,000 of the 300,000 plus Navy forces are trained as SEALs, stealth rescuers on sea, air, and land.  The SEALs in the Gulf of Aden parachuted into the ocean to join the destroyer serving as operations base.

Suddenly the chance came.  The terrorists could be seen through openings in the lifeboat.  They were agitated and getting desperate.  Now at least one held an AK-47, nearly touching their hostage.  The heads and shoulders of all three bad guys became visible.  The snipers took their shots, and gun blasts rang out.  All three heads dropped.  The bad guys were dead or dying.

How cool is that?

Hear The One About The Gay Polish Elephant?

The Poznan Zoo in Poland is being criticized for acquiring a boy elephant that appears to like other boy elephants.  In case you failed health class, that means he won’t be advancing the herd anytime soon. Oops.

Zoo officials first became skeptical when the elephant, Ninio, began dancing to Village People music playing over the zoo’s loudspeakers. 

Polish politicians have long debated gay rights issues, but no one expected politics to play a part in the life of a sexually finicky elephant.

What We Lost For Easter

Most people in most cities are finishing up a normal week. They’ll soon knock off for the holiday weekend, Good Friday through Easter. Many folks will be blitzed by incoming relatives or maybe just blitzed for happy hour. Those people in those cities aren’t thinking like Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania or Oakland, California or even New York.

Those three cities shared traumatic experiences over the past week as violent murderers decided that some police officers or regular citizens or even immigrants should die.  The victims had no chance because that’s how cowards kill.  They hide their pathetic fear behind body armor and rambling notes before dealing deadly sucker punches against people who do something with their lives–public guardians, hard workers, husbands, and wives, and parents.

The shootings in Oakland that took the lives of three police officers a couple weeks back constituted the deadliest day for American law enforcement since September 11, 2001, the ultimate act of cowardly failures whose entire existence was based on hate. 

If you are out there today feeling disraught or so far gone that you would take lives, I would like to tell you that there is hope.  I would like to tell you that maybe Easter weekend is the perfect time to find the answers and to make peace with your maker.  But mostly, if you want to commit such violence and treachery, I want to tell you to just keep your cowardice to yourself.  Just lock your door and kill yourself in private so no one else has to suffer.

I do not want people to hurt themselves or feel so alone that they have no options.  Most people suffering through depression can be helped if we would just see or hear them.  But I see innocent humans dying at the hands of these monsters who should have just put a gun in their mouth weeks ago and eaten a bullet. 

American Idol: And Then There Were 7

Well, at least the contestants didn’t fake sing to start the show.  After that the night went all wrong.

Okay, so Anoop and Lil were sent to the bottom three by America.  I’m not even surprised that Scott was in the lower third to tell the truth.  His attempt at the electric guitar was valiant but vocally he could not hit that final note at the end, and in the end, Scott MacIntyre finished last by a margin of 30,000 votes.  The judges were torn about what to do with that one contestant save of theirs.  Simon made the final decision.  See you later Scott.

There goes one of the most likeable performers you’ll ever see.  I’m sure he’ll have a sweet album out next year with great piano originals. 

Musical guest Flo Rida gave us all a nice break to go make a snack or scrub dishes or anything else really.  Remember when rock or country bands used to name themselves after cities and states? There was Boston, Chicago, Kansas, Alabama, etc… 

Now this rapper has taken Florida and called it Flo Rida.  A word of warning to the hip-hop community: Avoid these state names.  Idaho (I da ho), Iowa (I owe ya), Pennsylvania (Penis Vein).  Or maybe those are hip and I’m dope.