The Canadian Connection Edition

I’m super excited to present to you this day the one and only Ironic Mom direct from Calgary. Sure, I give Canada a hard time here and there, but you know I love the country that gave us so many great bloggers. And hockey. And Sidney Crosby. And [cue Handel’s Messiah] Mario Lemieux. I’m a Pittsburgher, what can I say?

Leanne is brilliant, one of the funniest writers I’ve ever read. She’s been getting noticed lately too. Check out her recent gigs for radio, TV, and the Calgary Herald among others. She also helped name this very feature she’s now writing for, the Friday Flick Faceoff.

Hopefully picking from such a wide range of movies gave her mom brain some time off. She did a great job. So grab a warm cup of syrup and let’s figure out what this faceoff’s all aboot.

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While Canada does have a growing film industry, it also frequently lends its people and places to Hollywood. Some of the Canadians who invade the U.S. film market are James Cameron, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Keanu Reeves, Hayden Christianson, William Shatner, Kim Cattrall, Elisha Cuthbert, Leslie Nielson, John Candy, Michael J. Fox, and Pamela Anderson.

There are many great films with solid Canadian connections. Here are five:

Unforgiven (1992)

Unforgiven, a multi-Oscar winner, was filmed in Alberta, basically outside my back door. This is also where Brokeback Mountain, Legends of the Fall, and The Assassination of Jesse James were filmed. Welcome to the True West. But I had to highlight Unforgiven. Clint is a giant legend, as are the Canadian Rockies, a virtual character in the movie. Besides a formidable landscape, Unforgiven has all the classic characteristics of a great western: bad boy, heroism, courage, and morality questions.

Juno (2007)

This quirky film about a teenage pregnancy crosses genres and defies stereotypes. As a teacher, I appreciate when films show teens to be intelligent and reflective, which this movie does brilliantly. Juno was not only filmed in Vancouver, but was also directed by Canadian Jason Reitman (who both co-wrote the screenplay and directed The Air Up There); he’s also the son of Ivan Reitman, Director of Ghostbusters. If that’s not enough Canadiana for you, the lead was played by Ellen Page (who, more recently, was in Inception) and co-starred fellow Canuck, Michael Cera, who’s been on Arrested Development.

Pride and Prejudice (2005)

While this version of Austen’s classic does not include Colin Firth (whom I’d personally like to offer Canadian citizenship to), it does include New Brunswick-born Donald Sutherland, and he plays Mr. Bennett brilliantly. Sutherland has been in multiple roles, including Reverend Monroe in Cold Mountain and Hawkeye Pierce in the movie of MASH. Pride and Prejudice, though not the BBC version, is still a classic story, well told in the 127 minutes Hollywood gave it. It’s worth a view to listen to Sutherland’s voice (who, by the way is the father of Keifer Sutherland of 24, who has his own distinctive timbre). If you can’t wait to hear Sutherland Sr., click here to listen to a voice I’d love to curl up in.

Dances with Wolves (1990)

Although this movie is most known for Kevin Costner, Graham Greene was nominated for his role of Best Supporting Actor, playing Kicking Bird. In addition to this, Greene, who’s from the Six Nations Reserve in Ontario, has been in The Green Mile and Die Hard. Other Canadians in Dances with Wolves include Maury Chakin, the crazy officer that sent Costner’s character (John Dunbar) to his far west posting, as well as Tantu Cardinal, who played Kicking Bird’s wife. In addition to all these north-of-the-49^th actors, some critics credit Dances with Wolves with reviving the Western genre.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)

Canadian Nia Vardalos both wrote and starred in this fun Rom-Com. Vardalos is from my hometown of Winnipeg, and to support the stereotype that Canada is as unpopulated as you think it is, last week I sat next to a woman while getting a pedicure; she was a Greek-Canadian from Winnipeg, and Vardalos’ father had given the speech at her wedding.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding, partially filmed in Toronto, is perhaps best known for fantastic writing (Vardalos was nominated for an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay). Some of the great lines include “There are two kinds of people – Greeks, and everyone else who wish they was Greek,” as well as “Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.” Classic.

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I’ve learned so much about our neighbors to the north! I have no idea who will win from this great selection. Have at it!

[UPDATE: So close all the way to the end, this one came down to 1 vote!]

The Friday Flick Faceoff features films that share a common thread. Cast your vote anyway you like and don’t worry if you’ve seen all the movies or not. Love to hear why you picked what you picked though!

Find me on Twitter under my new handle @ClayMorganPA!

Who Would You Be If You Couldn’t Be You?

One of the biggest questions we all ask in life is “who am I?” The historian part of me knows that much of that answer comes from events in the past. I love talking about questions of meaning and purpose with people. Some folks know exactly who they are while others struggle to find a personal identity. Some recent reading has me pondering these thoughts in a different way lately.

Who would you be if you couldn’t be you?

In response to a recent post on this site, Aunt Bethany left a comment that really got me thinking. Here’s what she said:

“One of the biggest challenges in the world is attempting to find who you are when you can no longer define yourself through work or what you’re “good” at. Imagine if you could no longer teach, or write…or if I couldn’t be a musician anymore…THEN what?”

Great question. How are we defined? I’ve known for a few years that I was made to write, teach, and speak. That’s what I got. I may have a nice swing in the batting cage and maybe I can even carry a tune here and there, but those are not things that define  me. I am a communicator. That’s what I excel at. I often wonder what I would do if lost the ability to speak or type.

With thoughts like that bouncing around my brain, I read an article by Garrison Keilor in Men’s Health. Keilor–one of the great writers of our era–wrote the piece to describe the stroke he suffered in 2009. He recounts the day the doctors showed him a scan of his brain and how grateful he felt that this “beloved organ” had not been damaged.

“I don’t care about my stomach, and the heart is only a muscle, and my lungs, scarred by 20 years of smoke, are doing the best they can, but my brain is where I live.”

As I finished the article I realized there are many ways to “lose” who we are. In addition to mortgaging our future, selling our soul, and abandoning our dreams we can also be stricken. Whether the oncoming disaster is a speeding vehicle or debilitating clot matters little.

So, I’m big on setting goals and moving forward. No reason to fear circumstances beyond our control, but I sure want to take hold of those things I can direct.

In the midst of these musings I received a book on goals from a site called AudioBookWorm.Com. I’ve been a member there for a while. They do books on CD like Netflix does movies. I filled out my queue a while ago, but this recent work showed up at a good time.

I’m not real big on self-help books which is often a racket, but I do check out positive thinkers from time to time and occasionally find a good one. I always liked Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

The author of this particular CD was Zig Ziglar, a name I’d heard although I didn’t know anything about him. He made his name as a writer and speaker for decades. His most famous work is See You at the Top: 25th Anniversary Edition.

This audio version was actually a recording of a talk Ziglar had given about 20 years ago I think. The intro sounded like some hokey 1980s synthesized number that could’ve been playing in the background of a Brat Pack movie. Zig’s got the thickest southern accent you ever heard, but he’s a gifted speaker and made lots of good points.

It’s good to always rethink who we are and what we’re attempting to do. I’m trying to get in the habit of writing down specific goals and putting a date on them. That’s a great way to challenge myself. The point is that I don’t think I can imagine myself as someone who didn’t write or teach.

I’m curious about how you think of yourself. I’m always fascinated when someone tells me how they view me. Have you ever heard someone describe you in a way you never saw yourself?

Some people don’t like who they are to which I say, “Who do you want to be?”

Google led me to an article recently that had an interesting poll about goals. I can’t remember where I found the thing, but I’m recreating the general idea here. As I often ask students, “What would you try if you knew you couldn’t fail?” I would love to hear some of your thoughts.

What are some of the roles, things, abilities that define you?

Deep Thoughts and Lost Tweets

When I was a teenager, one of my favorite parts on Saturday Night Live was Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey. The segments were short and usually hilarious. Soft piano music would play as words scrolled past some tranquil scene of a pretty sunset or sleepy meadow. The familiar narrator’s voice would calmly describe something absurdly funny.

I don’t remember the exact phrasing, but one of the more memorable Thoughts was how if a kid asks why it’s raining a cute thing to tell him is that “God is crying.” If the kid asks why then another cute thing to tell him is that it’s “probably because of something you did.”

These days you can find the whole collection and history at the official website.

I used to wonder how someone could come up with so many ideas like that. Then I grew up and realized that something similar happened to my brain.

See, I’ve got my own deep thoughts, but this is the 21st century and we have social media to express ourselves. I’m specifically thinking of Twitter.

Twitter is a fun community, but you don’t have to know anything about that world to understand what I’m talking about here. In fact, I’ve only been involved for a few months. Anything you say is called a tweet, something I’ve done about 1,400 times since September. There’s lots of conversation and exchanges of links, but there’s also the simple one liners that many people serve up.

I’m no Jack Handey, but here are some of the things that have turned over in my mind in recent months. Without Twitter, western civilization would’ve been deprived of these lost tweets.

“I feel for kids with peanut allergies around Halloween, but then I remind their parents of the dangers and get their candy for free.” ~ November 4

“I couldn’t be more easily distracted right now if I was a kitten with ADHD in a meth lab.” ~ December 8

“Wow, the price of Swedish fish has really gone up! Rip off. Must be because of the oil spill.” ~ November 27

“Just realized I am dressed like Billy Mayes today. Haven’t shaved this week either. Maybe I should try to sell something.” ~ September 28

“My niece asked if we could play Barbies. I guess chasing them down with Tonka trucks isn’t what she meant. Accessorizing.” ~ October 30

“Kids on leashes. I’m looking at one. It’s kind of ridiculous.” ~ November 6

“If I thought someone was trying to kill me with a car bomb I would just have a remote starter installed so I wouldn’t get blown up.” ~ November 23

“Fleas are jerks.” ~ October 2

“Smart cars look ridiculous. Especially when you’re 6’3.” ~ October 4

“Well so much for movie night. Just showed up but the place caught on fire.” ~ October 23

“I’m pretty sure I just saw Richard Simmons at the grocery store. Wait, maybe it was Gene Simmons. Always get them mixed up.” ~ October 26

“This just in: Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton are feuding. In other news, everything else in the world is more important.” ~ December 13

“At age 33 Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence. Today, at the same age, I’ve mastered the breakfast sandwich.” ~ December 15

“Some beards look ridiculous. And I’m not just saying that because I can’t grow one. Probably.” December 16

“I think a really lousy superpower would be if you could grow a mullet at will.” ~ December 21

“You never really see anybody building a snowman in a cemetery but I bet my grandma would like that.” ~ January 12

But Twitter offers way more than just quirky musings. Real connections happen in the Twitterverse. I have ongoing discussions with a variety of people from anywhere on earth and found some of the best peeps I know through the massive site. Check out this tweet from long ago when I first met Ironic Mom.

“This mom in one seriously talented writer. Children, Swearing, and the Middle Finger: http://t.co/Dk“ October 5

I had forgotten how many connections I made in a few short months until digging through these old tweets. Sure glad I did! Facebook is nice for talking to friends, but Twitter is a great way to meet people with similar interests. Don’t worry about not understanding how it works. None of us did at first either, it’s not hard, and we’re eager to help.

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What are your deep thoughts or lost tweets? Find me on Twitter @eduClaytion.

You can put tweets, video and more into your personal comments! Every WordPress user should read this simple tutorial!

What Do Bloggers Do On Weekends?

Hey gang. Just a quick post to ask you a couple of questions.

What do you do with or about your blog on weekends?

Do you post on Saturday or Sunday? Do you write new content for the upcoming week? Do you collapse in exhaustion and let the thing sit there collecting a random comment here and there? Another way to spend weekends is catching up on reading or hitting social network sites to build more relationships.

I used to post on Saturday mornings back when my content was current eventish. I would have time to peruse the paper and riff on some stories, but that hasn’t happened for a while.

Once I got serious last fall, I moved to the Monday-Wednesday-Friday pattern of posting. I believe that 3 posts a week are needed for consistency, but more are fine. If I add a Saturday what type of content should I post? Would you be interested in a top 5 of the 100-200 blog posts I read a week? Do you have any other ideas?

Fewer people surf the net on weekends, but the ones who do spend more time as they can relax. Certain topics like sports and food will always do well on Saturday and Sunday, but what about personal sites? I’d love to hear your experiences and thoughts on the matter.

Strategizing is smart whether you want to build readership or simply save time. Most of us would probably prefer to do both. What are your thoughts?

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Hey yo, I’m on Twitter @eduClaytion.

I Hate Valentine’s Day

“I got a bulletproof heart. You got a hollow point smile.” ~ My Chemical Romance

Valentine’s Day is here. Again. Oh goodie. Can somebody please pass me the chainsaw.

As far as holidays go, Easter has the market on resurrection, but I’d like to argue that Valentine’s Day is the real zombie of the bunch. No matter how many times I kill it the thing just keeps coming back.

This is how they come at me on Valentine's Day

I’m not going to even let myself start down the heart-shaped path littered with jewelry commercials. Sappy advertising and terrible movies are just some of the smelly grave clothes clinging the rotted flesh of this monster.

I’m a real bowl of cherries eh?

Now that I’ve gotten myself into the proper frame of mind it’s time to figure out what movies go best with a day where love means buying overpriced crap because some companies say so.

That means we’re talking about chick flicks. Glurg. Don’t get me wrong, I like movies from every genre. Of course I love humor and brainless action flicks, but the greatest movies of all time are dramas. I can even get down with a chick flick here and there, particularly if they’re funny but especially if they’re well written and tell a great story.

But spare me the melodrama. I’m far too much of a realist to appreciate the way most of that drivel ends. 

The problem is that like most men, I’ve spent many nights being forced to watch some glorified Lifetime movie of the week. Look, there were enough of those on TV during the Sunday evenings of my childhood. Back then they all starred either the mom from Growing Pains (Joanna Kerns) or Meredith Baxter-Birney (Family Ties). I know.

So we boys learn early and often we will not be enjoying movies like Beaches anytime this side of eternity. We’re like Fred Savage in The Princess Bride. He just wants grandpa to tell the story and not bother with all that stupid mushy stuff.

Yes, I get it. I know we have to play the game and pretend whether or not Drew Barrymore gets kissed. But, for me at least, it is torture when I could find 500 incredible dramas with love stories and honest to God plot and character development. Well, the mushy market is massive and Hallmark is a behemoth.

So we get Valentine’s Day.

I’m obviously not the best guy to hang out with if you’re trying to get in the mood for some V-Day love. Guess what? I know my weaknesses. That’s why I went to Facebook where my qualified friends came up with dozens of super suggestions. Thanks everyone!

I also got a suggestion from Fallen Angel on Twitter about a movie called I Hate Valentine’s Day which I have not seen but appears to be the follow up to My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The Facebook gang offered lots of great suggestions. I tried to narrow it down to the most well-known. And try as I did, I was unable to work in Junior, Godzilla vs. Mothra, or Philadelphia. Sorry Perry, Doug, and Karl. Funny though!

I'm a master of subtle metaphor.

Speaking of funny, one half of this contest is for romantic comedies. The old RomCom (don’t get too excited WoPro). One actor I appreciate in this arena has always been Hugh Grant. The readers of FB agree on at least one of his flicks, Notting Hill. 

The other side of this beast is that weepy realm of tearjerkers. I also call this genre ‘Crying and Dying’ films. Movies that got me choked up were Braveheart and The Green Mile. Big Fish also got to me but notice the absence of love stories in those flicks.

So we’re in good hands with the collective suggestions of my Facebook friends. By the way, dear reader, feel free to find me there as well. Go ahead and make your picks. Stand by them like Forrest with Jenny.

For those of you who harbor dark feelings about Valentine’s Day won’t you join me for a very special screening of that cherished and heartwarming tale: My Bloody Valentine. Now, where’s my chainsaw?

 

The Friday Flick Faceoff features films that share a common thread. Cast your vote anyway you like and don’t worry if you’ve seen all the movies or not. Love to hear why you picked what you picked though!

“Self-Plagiarism Is Style”

“I have something for you over at my blog.” That was all she said.

The she is Wendy from Herding Cats In Hammond River. The where is nestled in the comment thread of my last post. The what is an honor bestowed.

I’ve received from Wendy the esteemed Stylish Blogger Award.

As a historian, I can tell you that the Stylish Blogger Award was first established in 1917 as part of an endowment set up by the late Andrew Carnegie. Incredible foresight really since Al Gore wouldn’t create the internet for another half century. But that was Carnegie, a Pittsburgh innovator. Maybe my Steelers failed to bring home the Lombardi Trophy, but I’m proud to say that today the SBA is coming home to the Burgh. 

To accept this presitgious honor, I must thank and link to my generous benefactor (thank you Wendy), select 6 bloggers I feel are worthy of receiving this prize (we’ll get to that), and tell you seven things about myself (oh, it’s about to happen).

See that quote there in the title? That’s from Alfred Hitchcock. So with that name drop let’s get to…

Seven things about myself:

1. Speaking of Hitch, I always believed that an axe murderer was behind every shower curtain. I could just see him standing there, weapon in hand, grinning from ear to ear, a looming beast standing 6’5″ from head to toe. But it turns out it was only just Head & Shoulders.

2. To this day I still suddenly throw back shower curtains and unleash a flurry of ninja activity in the general direction of toiletries.

3. I once took second place in a roller skating limbo contest. The girl who beat me was two feet shorter than me, and her mom was one of the judges. I’m still bitter.

4. My friend WD and I once walked away from a car accident that shattered every window and blew out every tire. We were broadsided at around 60 mph and I was thrown into the backseat of the car.

5. I don’t believe in luck or coincidences.

6. I always wear my seat belt, although I do sometimes blog and drive.

7. In junior high, I sat behind a girl with split ends and spent hours that year pulling them apart undetected and possibly destroying her hair for years. Yes, I feel bad about that.

Whew! Made it through that. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.

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Now for my six nominees to be forever immortalized should they accept this honor.

Ironic Mom–One of the funniest humans I’ve never met.

Some Species Eat Their Young–Chase is the absolute standard for dads who blog.

Lessons From Teachers & Twits–Renee is my very special Fryber.

Adventure and Insights–I like to balance all the love I throw Canada with some props for my favorite Australian blogger.

Piper Bayard–Her tagline is “On Life, Belly Dancing, and Apocalyptic Annihilation.” Enough said.

Fnkybee–And you know she’s got that mad Fnkybee style!

In order to accept the SBA, these nominees must complete the following steps.

1. Write seven things about yourself.

2. Present the award to six bloggers.

3. Contact those people.

4. Create a link back to the person who did this to for you.

Each and every one of you has earned this cherished spot in the hallowed pantheon of bloggers that I know. 

Take it from this limbo roller skating, girl hair devastating, post-wreck miracle taking, bathroom ninja. You’re all head & shoulders above the rest.

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Talk about a tough choice! Find me on Twitter @eduClaytion.

How To Discuss The Super Bowl Even Though You Didn’t Watch

Some of you missed the Super Bowl. Maybe you hate football. Maybe you couldn’t watch the game even though every other American adult did. Perhaps you just live in a whole other country and think football has something to do with soccer.

But now everyone’s talking about the big game, and you don’t know how to fit in. Social status is at stake. What if the boss or that hottie in accounting thinks less of you now? The water cooler just became a nightmare.

Fear not. I’m here to offer you some great ways to get in the conversation even if you have no idea what the people who actually watched the game are talking about.

Important Fact: The game took place in North Texas.

Things To Say At The Water Cooler:

A) Historical setting

Say this: “Can you believe how many people were at that Super Bowl? That was the highest attendance ever! Imagine, over 100,000 fans.”

[Bonus Tip: try name dropping here, preferably how you knew someone whose aunt went to the game.]

Sure fire way to blow your cover:  Add that all those people at the game are stupid to want to watch a bunch of men in tights kick a ball around for 3 periods.

B) Vague analysis

This part’s actually simple. Just use phrases from the MadLib school of TV journalism. Meatheads have gotten rich off these phrases for years.

FFF: There’s Just Something About…Bill Murray?

I’m pleased to introduce Kelly Kay to you today from Dances With Chaos. One reason I can relate to Kelly: Her parents never let her watch anything racier than MacGyver when she was a kid. One reason I can not relate to Kelly: She has a husband. One reason I can not relate to Kelly’s husband, CG: He can fix anything.

Kelly writes from Texas with an original take on “The joys and pitfalls of being a stay at home mom” and her battles with “early onset mommy brain.” Her kids the Lil Diva and Tackler are a neverending source of material and like so many 21st moms she has taken to blogging because therapy is just too expensive.

Speaking of therapy, Kelly’s included one of the greatest mental health movies ever in today’s Friday Flick Faceoff, but I’ll let her tell you about that. In the meantime, go find her on Twitter. Baby steps to the blog post. Baby steps to the poll…

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There’s just something about Bill Murray. There’s no question. He’s everywhere.

Little known fact: Bill Murray is my surrogate father~Clay

Especially at Educlaytion.

He popped up in the Greatest Christmas Movie Bracket in Scrooged.

Aunt Bethany had him singing Star Wars in the Best Movie Score battle.

His classic line in What About Bob was mentioned in The Crazy Face Off: “I’m a schizophrenic, and so am I.”

As I wrote this blog (in my head) I quickly removed Caddyshack as a contender since it popped up in the Greatest Golf Movie Showdown.

Now, it’s Groundhog Week at Educlaytion.

That means it is time for one of the best comedians of my childhood to spring from the peripheral shadows to the glory of the spotlight.

Because there’s just something about Bill Murray.

He practically raised me, in an edited “My Parents Made Me Leave the Room, Cover My Eyes, or Fast Forward – Even During PG Movies” way.

My introduction to Murray came with the release of Ghostbusters (1984) and the relatively “new” invention of the VHS tape. No longer was I restricted to TV movies or cajoling my parents into taking me to the theater.

Nope, now from the comfort of my very own home I could be ordered by my mother to turn my head and avert my eyes as Venkman’s girlfriend Dana slept above her covers—four feet above her covers.

I do believe I was the last child in my grade to see this movie, my parents deeming anything with ghosts, sex, kissing, extortion, demon dogs, Mr. Stay Puft, or demigod possession inappropriate for a third grader.

Ok, maybe not Mr. Stay Puft.

As I gradually outgrew the “you can’t watch this PG, PG-13, or R part” I gained new appreciation of the comedic genius that is Bill Murray.

I actually understood the lines, “Dogs and cats, living together! Mass hysteria!” and “But if I’m right, and we can stop this thing – Lenny…. you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.”

The awesome supporting cast doesn’t hurt, with Rick Moranis in his second best role – falling just behind Dark Helmet. [Editor’s note: You know that’s right.]

What About Bob? (1991) was the second Bill Murray movie of my childhood and one of the few that escaped the Parental Edit. Bill Murray’s portrayal made me believe Bob was completely clueless about Death Therapy—an impressive feat.

My husband on the other hand—sides with Dr. Leo Marvin (brilliantly played by the unraveling Richard Dreyfuss). He refuses to watch the movie with me, because Murray’s acting is so spot on, he’d love nothing better than to see Bob blown to pieces.

Meanwhile, I’m thrown back to my teen years and how the simple slurred line, “Getoutofthecar!” used to dissolve my friend Jason into an uncontrollable giggling machine because of how perfectly Murray and Dreyfuss played against each other.

Stripes (1981) popped onto my radar around this time. Living in the only house without cable TV (my parents resisted the lure of 90 plus channels until after I got married and moved to Texas), several years passed before I had the privilege of viewing it in an unedited for TV format. I still remember how the “Boom-shocka-locka” scene had me convulsing with laughter.

It also taught me an important lesson: never join the army on the rebound.

Murray rounded out my education with Groundhog Day (1993).

In addition to being one of the funniest movies I’ve seen, it made you think. How would I react if I was forced to repeat the day over and over? Would I break down and dream of ways to end it? Would I use the time to learn and accomplish all of those things I’ve dreamed of but never had the chance to do?

Would it all depend on what happened on the day I was forced to repeat?

Two days ago, I had the worst Groundhog Day… ever: complete with a puking child, soiled baby pajamas, and rolling blackouts that didn’t pass you by so much as roll over you before backing up to smash you again and again over a seven hour period.

If I’d had to repeat that day more than twice in a row…

Let’s just not go there.

As a parent of two young children, sometimes I have normal days that are like Groundhog Days, filled with the same monotonous routines—each day the same as the last—where no matter how much you clean or pick up, the next day begins in the same disaster mode as the previous day. It gives me a new appreciation of what Bill Murray’s character experienced.

No matter which of these four comedy film classics takes the FFF trophy, you have to agree:

There’s just something about Bill Murray.

[UPDATE: Wow, Kelly sure picked a tough matchup! Stripes looked to have the title until a late weekend rush on Groundhog Day. Great stuff.]

The Friday Flick Faceoff features films that share a common thread. Cast your vote anyway you like and don’t worry if you’ve seen all the movies or not. Love to hear why you picked what you picked though!

Groundhog Week!

Hey ya’ll, no heavy reading here this time. I’ve got all the info you need on video. Time for a special edition of Wiki Wednesday! I’m getting a real Cash Cab vibe here.

So the connections to Pittsburgh and Pennsylvania are many this week. Gene Kelly was the man, a Steel City star unlike anyone in entertainment history. Hope you enjoyed.

In Groundhog Day, Phil gets stuck living the same day over and over again.

If you had to repeat the same day over like that, what would your dream day look like? Where would you go and what would you do? With whom?

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 Find me on Twitter @eduClaytion.

I’m In Grammar Rehab

I don’t know if I can shake the habit. I’m in mind-jarring, hand twitching, don’t put two spaces after a period anymore rehab.

This struggle goes on with every new line I type on these springy, black keys with the white letters I’ve known so well for the past fifteen years.

There, did you see? Every time I reach the end of a sentence it happens, after each period I face that vein-tapping muscle memory pulsating from my right thumb. That’s the digit that punches the space bar rhythmically after each dot of punctuation.

I owe this struggle to WordPress, our blogging overlords who recently Freshly Pressed a marvelous piece called How Many Spaces Should You Put After A Period? by Dr. J over at The Western Tradition.

The good doctor set me straight as the home row on this keyboard. One space after periods. Got it.

But then I come to the end of the next sentence and can’t resist that second space. “Take me!” screams the beast, a white void no longer acceptable, a wasted rule that should never have been. But I can’t resist! Now each sentence ends with a quick thump-thump of the right thumb followed by an immediate thwack as my right ring finger–the methadone I need to combat this heroin of double-spacing–smacks the backspace button to set fragile paragraphs aright. Thump-thump-thwack. That’s the sound of my disease.

The pull of the post-period double tap remains so strong that I’m beginning to lose heart. (There it goes again). The animalistic part of me rationalizes because I am an attic.

“What are you worried about?” purs the beast. “You can put a second space after punctuation. No problem. That Dr. J is just plain old wrong.”

My nerves begin to calm. My pounding heart slows. I want to believe the beast’s lie. But how can I be sure?

I know copyeditors. Just ask them. The truth frightens. Then I remember that I’ve had articles appear in print, pieces that were worked over by multiple editors.

I find the link to my Houdini piece. I point and click, an apprehensive click, the polar opposite of that anxious thumb tap. I scan the text below Houdini’s portrait but unlike the masterful showman I can not escape the haunting truth.

The editors have indeed left only one space after each period.

Thump-thump-thwack.  

Now I look at everything I’ve ever written and cringe. A decade and a half is enough time to craft thousands of pages filled with tens of thousands of words. Do you know how many punctuation marks that is? I don’t because I’m a writer and don’t believe in math. I’m a matheist. Just think of all of those periods shivering in the shadow of that ill-conceived second space. How embarrassing! It’s like walking out of a three-hour lecture only to realize your zipper was down the entire time.

Gonna take a while to clean all this up.

No, it’s worse than that. Look at all those extra spaces scattered across my past. The road I’ve trodden as a writer is as bleak as a Cormac McCarthy post-apocalyptic novel, a desolate landscape of naked periods and lonely question marks. Can this world ever be rebuilt? Editing devolves into torture.

Oh, the betrayal of the system! I followed your rules teacher. I copied your example dear mother. Yet we were all deceived by the devils of western civilization.

And now? Now, I’m like an old dog but forget the part about having to learn a new trick. This old mutt has to unlearn wagging my tail at dinner. Impossible?

I can beat this disease but not by myself. We can do it together, you and me. Let’s kick the habit and reclaim wasted space. We must unite and fight the good fight! Listen to the sound of our hearts beating as one. Do you hear it? That soft echo follows us through every word, sentence, and punctuation mark. Yes, I hear the collective pounding of our hearts over the groans of the grammar gods. Thump-thump-thwack.

____________________________________________________________
Okay, a bit dramatic, but does anyone out there feel me? Find me on Twitter @eduClaytion.

Grandma Would’ve Loved This

The Friday Flick Faceoff features films that somehow share a common thread.  Cast your vote anyway you like and don’t worry if you’ve seen the movies or not.  Love to hear why you picked what you picked though.

~*~*~*~

To most of the world, football means soccer. We’ve got our own version here in the states, and my Steelers are heading back to the Super Bowl. My grandma would’ve loved this.

I don’t have a ton of memories about grandma and football from childhood, but we always talked about the Steelers during frequent visits over the last few years of her life. She was snappy, a real character. Her favorite player was Jerome Bettis, the Steelers hefty runner.

Kind of funny that this reminds me of grandma. Also kind of awesome.

Bettis pounded people and often celebrated with intensity, arms shaking, fists pumping in circles. Gram would always recap the action for us. “I love when Jerome does that little dance,” she’d say while mimicking his moves. Made me laugh every time.

She died in late 2002, during the football season. The Steelers won their division that year. In late October they played on Monday Night Football against Peyton Manning and the up and coming Indianapolis Colts. We watched the game in her new residence, an independent care home she moved into for those final weeks. That time was really tough for her, but we smiled a lot that night. The Steelers won 28-10. Bettis scored two touchdowns. Lying in bed, grandma gave a little fist pump and said, “I love that little dance.”

I don’t remember one other game from that season.

She didn’t live to see Bettis win that Super Bowl trophy in early 2006, but she would’ve loved that too.

Confessions Of A Jeopardy Champion

Today we’re in for a special, surprise visit from Sally O’Rourke who recently won over $30K by becoming a champion on Jeopardy! Sally caught my attention during the last of her two shows. First, she was introduced as a writer. Second, she was fun to watch. Then she went and mentioned that she had a blog on pop culture! I had to find her. I did. She’s here.

She’s already told the tale of her journey over at her site Look, Sally, Look. I highly recommend her three part series which you can start here. She also runs No Hard Chords, an ambitious attempt to reference and discuss every Billboard #1 single of all time. She’s also on Twitter. Find her and say hi.

Sally and I recently sat down, not together though. She was at a computer somewhere and I at mine. Here’s what she has to say about winning on Jeopardy, sizing up Alex, and helping me conquer Meredith Vieria.

~*~*~*~

How does somebody even get on Jeopardy?

The short answer is that I took the timed test on the “Jeopardy!” website. It’s only offered about once a year, but registration is open right now for the 2011 tests on February 8-10. I … got an email in April inviting me to the tryouts in New York later that month. The tryouts start with a 50-question written test, followed by a short practice round with the other people in your audition group. The contestant coordinators also work with you on the anecdotes you’ve prepared, and they videotape you while you play to get an idea of whether you’ll have a decent presence on screen.

The longer answer is too much to get into here, but it involves years of reading widely, collecting trivia, playing quiz bowl and watching “Jeopardy!” It helps to be prepared.

You said you were one of the few people who were not going to spend winnings on traveling. What did you think you would spend the money on?

I said I’d buy a Rickenbacker 12-string guitar. While I’d love to have one of those someday, I don’t think I earned a high enough amount that I’d be comfortable splurging on something so impractical. I already have two 6-string guitars (acoustic and electric), and I don’t play those hardly as much as I’d like anyway. As to what I’ll actually spend the money on, I haven’t decided yet. I’m putting that off to when I get the check a few months from now. It’ll probably go straight into savings. And yeah, I’m guessing at least part of it will end up paying for travel expenses.

Describe the period of time between leaving town for the show tapings and actually going on air.

When I first got the call from the contestant coordinator asking me to come to the taping on September 29, I was a bit hesitant at first. That date was smack in the middle of a trip I was planning to take with my mother and grandparents to Mackinac Island, Michigan and Chicago. I was hoping the coordinator would offer me a later date instead, but she didn’t … we rearranged our trip so that my mother, grandmother and I would first spend a couple of days in San Francisco before flying down to Los Angeles. There, we stayed at the Culver City Radisson because it has a special reduced price for “Jeopardy!” contestants and a shuttle that would take me to Sony Pictures Studios the morning of my taping. Being out in Culver City without a car, it was hard to do a lot of sightseeing. We did take a tour bus into LA the day before my taping. It got us into the city, took us around the sights and still got me back early enough that I could spend the rest of the evening studying.

Turns out the answers weren't in his moustache

For the record, we went to Chicago and Mackinac Island the next week. That’s the benefit of being a temp – you can take off whenever you want!

Alex isn’t really as perfect as he acts is he?

The question I get more than any other is “What is Alex like in real life?” I regret to say I’m not much wiser than the average “Jeopardy!” viewer. The contestants aren’t really allowed to talk to Alex in order to avoid allegations of cheating, as he gets the answers to all of the clues in advance. When you see the contestants talking with him at the end of the show, it’s mainly just everyone congratulating the winner and talking about the Final Jeopardy question.

The two variations of that question that come up a lot are “How tall is Alex?” and “Do you think he’s as smart as he acts on the show?” First, he didn’t strike me as unusually tall or short, so I’d guess he’s average. Second, I think he’s a pretty smart guy. He’s been hosting “Jeopardy!” since before I was born, so he’s had plenty of time to accrue a good deal of knowledge. Plus he just comes across as being smart, which is hard to fake believably.

As far as being perfect, he does slip up sometimes! If he stumbles over any words while reading the clue, he redubs the line during the commercial break. [Editor’s note: I knew it!]

Why Won’t Anyone Read My Blog?

A lot of good bloggers are asking that very question. I come across many folks who have recently begun or still haven’t been able to gain ground in the blogosphere. If the journey feels like an episode of Survivor Man right now, take heart. You certainly aren’t alone. With a little time and planning you can find your way out of the weblog wilderness.

If your goal is to be read, this business can be frustrating in the early going. We all know what it’s like to sit there hitting that refresh button, hoping that another person shows up in the page view stats, thinking that maybe some spam comments are kind of nice and why not just let them through. That’s kind of like a unique visitor, right?

I’ve been blogging for almost two years now, so I’m a newb compared to the gurus I follow; however, I’ve been building momentum since getting serious a few months ago. In the coming weeks this site is getting a massive overhaul with more lifts and implants than you’ll find in a season of Nip Tuck. So I am qualified to tell you about the mistakes I’ve made. Hopefully, you can avoid these blunders and take off like a pinball.

Common Mistakes I Made So You Don’t Have To

1. Not knowing what my site was about

Tons of blogs are just rants and musings on whatever just happened. Personal blogs like that are absolutely fine. You are the product and people who know you will read, but what are you about?

When I started this site I only knew that I wanted to start a blog and eduClaytion was the name I used to write a column under at Infinty Broadcasting. Much of my earlier stuff is political as I was trying to make light of the wonky news cycle. I also jumped on sports and whatever current event caught my eye. I still move around topically but have a consistent style and have created a level of expectation for readers.

Worst Professor Ever is a good example of how to tighten your content focus and establish a marketable brand. She does a lot of smart things because she understands her audience and is constantly working that crowd.

2. Inconsistency

Pretty straight forward. For well over a year, I just wrote when I thought of something or had time. Dormant blogs are quickly forgotten. Now I post Monday, Wednesday, & Friday. Get on a schedule.

3. Not commenting

When I received comments for a long time I didn’t respond to them and didn’t go comment on the site of the person who left them. You must. That’s how community works. Check out Nathan Bransford’s post on commenting. You absolutely must start here and understand what Nathan is saying.

FFF: The Greatest Golf Movie Ever?

I am pleased to bring you another guest poster for this fine Friday Flick Faceoff. Lary Hehn is here from his site Christian In The Rough by way of Toronto, Canada. Larry’s a great guy and multitalented. He’s a gifted cartoonist in addition to writing and speaking. Best of all, he’s real. I knew he was coming from the right place when I read this quote from his site: “I will never have all the answers, but I love finding them.” You can also find him on Twitter.

The first idea Larry had for a FFF nailed me right between my frigid little eyes. With two simple words he seemed to melt just a bit of the fresh, white powder chilling the ledge outside my window. “Golf movies,” he said. After a series of cold weeks interspersed with snow and ice storms my chapped heart throbs for those warm, summer days on the golf course, cool beverage in hand. So hook it, slice it, or knock this baby flush, but be sure to take a swing at what Larry’s teed up.

~*~*~*~

My Dad and I have always been sports buffs and enjoyed each other’s company on the playing field. For years he was my coach and sometimes even my teammate. But now that he has turned 80 and has three knee replacement surgeries under his belt, there’s pretty much only one sport left that we can enjoy playing together.

That’s golf.

I always look forward to our annual father and son golf game, even though I’m a lousy golfer. Yes, “Christian in the Rough” is both the name of my blog and a very accurate description of my golf game.

But sometimes golf is about more than just knocking a little white ball around some very expensive real estate. It’s also about character. Friendship. Bonding. Reflection. Taking stock. Sharing. Frustration. Encouragement. Discouragement. Fun. Angst.

Golf makes for great drama. And comedy. Sometimes on the very same shot.

So when Clay graciously invited me to guest post today for the Friday Flick Faceoff, and to choose a topic, I knew right away that our quest would be to determine…The Greatest Golf Movie Ever!

Of course, golf is made up of foursomes. So we have four gems for you to choose from today spanning 20 years of film making. There’s comedy. There’s drama. There’s gophers. Romance. Improbable comebacks. Fist fights with game show hosts.

Who ever said that golf was boring?

Who Do You Look Like?

Who do people say you look like? Do you always get compared to someone? Is it always the same individual or different people? A bevy of recent comments have me pondering such thoughts. I bet some of you can relate.

We can’t all be like Tyler Tarver who looks exactly like that guy from The Notebook.  You know the one, umm, James Garner.  Wait, that’s not the one. I meant Ryan Gosling. 

One of these men is world famous and incredibly wealthy. The other one has a blog.*

I look like someone that everybody knows. I’m familiar. When I was younger I made grandmas dream of their grandchildren. “It’s scary how much you look just like him!” they would say. People often stare like they know me only to realize they don’t.

I’ve been called a liar by strangers because I wouldn’t admit that I went to school with them. They were convinced I was “that guy.” I wasn’t. Not only have I been called lots of things, but I’ve been compared to lots of people. The doppleganging trends large these days.

My mom sees a young Jimmy Stewart which I’ll rock if I got, but Keanu Reeves has been the longest running one. I know. The comparisons to Reeves started after The Matrix came out. I got a lot of “you look like Neo” comments at the time, but I’m pretty sure I have zero Hawaiian or Chinese ancestry on account of being related to Braveheart, but I’ll take the Neo connection. Strangely, I still get Keanu a couple times a year, usually when wearing sunglasses.

Then there was the Friends era with lots of Chandler. Never Matt Perry, just his character. Then I went to the dentist where a receptionist said, “You remind me of that guy from Friends.  Oh, what’s his name?” 

“Chandler,” I said.

“No, not him,” she said.  “Ross!”

Huh?  The neurotic Jewish guy?  No one looks like two members of Friends.  That’s an existential impossibility, and the universe would implode if such a person appeared.

But time marches on and the comparisons kept coming, more about mannerisms than looks no doubt. My humor apparently reminds students of Dane Cook.

One of the funniest comparisons came from a student in 2009. On final exams students briefly explain what part of the course impacted them the most. One girl wrote (and I am not making this up): “Probably that Professor Morgan looks like the bad kid from The Breakfast Club.” Ha! Judd Nelson? Sure, Bender rocks, but I didn’t see that coming. Although I have been considering a Halloween effort, but I’ll need the rest of the Brat Pack. Do any of you qualify?

I’d be schizophrenic if I believed this latest wave of guess who. The recent issue with Disney’s Tangled was covered in detail on my birthday. Some girl recently told me I reminded her of the guy from Jeepers Creepers. I didn’t think that was very nice. Am I really throwing off that serial killer/monster vibe? Turns out she meant Justin Long (the Mac guy). That was a new one. A new class began right after the Jeepers Creepers encounter so I related the anecdote for a laugh.  A few students quickly agreed: “You do look like Justin Long!”  No, I do not.

Then a new student showed up on day two of that class. I asked him what he preferred to be called. He said, “Call me Turk cause you remind me of J.D.” Umm… It was a rare moment of me not getting a pop culture reference. Turns out he was referring to Scrubs, one of those shows that’s super hip yet I didn’t watch. Some of the other students in the class (the same class that agreed with the Justin Long call) jumped in. “You do look like J.D.!” Turk later showed me a clip. Scrubs is way funnier after a lecture on the Black Death. I didn’t realize J.D. is Zach Braff. Not a chance I look like that guy. 

I must be part chameleon. You tell me. Whether it’s more appearance or mannerisms or delivery in what universe does this formula hold? I guess beauty isn’t the only thing in the eye of the beholder.

*In case you were still wondering, Tyler Tarver is on the left in the Ryan Gosling image mixup puzzle above. The springy duck is the secret clue.

So who do people say you look like? Connect with me on Twitter @eduClaytion.