Does Uncle Sam Want To Put His Hand Down Your Pants?

An eduClaytion special report 😮

The guy had my attention when he told Uncle Sam not to touch his “junk.”  As soon as the John Tyner video went viral Monday, I knew I better get educated because the questions would be coming since I’m supposed to know my stuff.  About government and politics, that is, not junk touching. 

Airport screening has become the dominant issue lately since the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) changed course to allow for aggressive pat downs in addition to the infamous body scanners.  The government groping is already being compared to sexual molestation while scanners have been criticized for providing nude images of passengers and possibly dosing folks with harmful radiation.

Since I’ve already been asked about these happenings a few times, I thought I might quickly lay out what’s happening, what should be happening, and what the Constitution says about it all.

Background

Since the attacks of 9/11, the U.S. government has gradually increased security measures to react to recent plots.  Someone mentioned liquid explosives so we got rid of water bottles.  After the shoe bomber, we had to take off our shoes.  Then it was laptops, then belts, and on it went. 

Then last Christmas some jerk put explosives in his underwear, so now we have to check underwear even though terrorists are always onto the next thing.  The new thing is no doubt going to be explosives hidden in body cavities that won’t be detected by body scanners or feel-ups, but that’s for another day.

The Government’s Plan

Initially, I think the government wanted to invite all of us over for dinner and drinks to seduce us out of our clothes.  Bill Clinton probably would’ve been tapped as the Coaxing Czar.  Unfortunately, not even the Obama administration could afford lobster and cheescake for the 100 million or so air travelers in America each year, so onto plan B.

There are two main types of body scanners going right now.  These machines reveal what’s going on between clothing and skin.  Any foreign objects are visible.  Of course, your private regions are also visible.  This is the part that gets some people angry.  I say some because a CBS News poll shows that only 15% of Americans disapprove of full-body scanners at security checkpoints. 

The images are supposed to be transmitted to a TSA screener in a private viewing area.  That’s the key to eliminating the uncomfortable and personal connection by the way.  According to the TSA, faces are blurred and images can not be saved.  Well, except for those 35,000 images that were saved from 2008, but that’s all been fixed I’m sure.

The Controversy

Under the new guidelines, you must undergo the full-body pat down if you opt out of the scanner.  This experience is being reported more and more as the days roll by with next week’s Thanksgiving travel rush expected to reveal many more accounts.  You’re basically getting a very hands on experience under all clothing complete with more cupping than you’d find in a magic act.  The basic move seems to be sliding but I’ve also heard reports of squeezing and possibly twisting.  Cigarettes are not provided afterwards.

Keep Your Pants On

Why are so many people taking their pants off in public?  I’m not talking about first-class creepos but rather normal people who for one reason or another need to lose those lower layers.  I’ve been surprised to learn that this trend impacts many parts of our culture from national security to congressional lawmaking (Insert sleezy politician joke here).  During this highly professional investigative process (read: coffee and Google), I’ve even learned that our generational gap may not be as wide as we suspect.

This idea infested my brain after reading one of the funniest headlines ever from my new favorite blogger Girl On The Contrary.  The piece is called That Time The Guy Sitting Next To Me On A Plane Took His Pants Off.  I dare you not to read after a title like that.  The short version comes down to insulin, but that isn’t nearly as interesting.

The problem started with 3" neckties

In a related story, blogger Greg Lindsay recently wrote about Jim Lynch, the man who is just tired of airport security.  His solution?  Take off his pants instead of emptying pockets and so on.  Said Lynch:

 “I got a good laugh from airport security about it—she said she had never seen that before. But it’s not like she told me I wasn’t allowed to take my pants off.”

More power to ya, but I’m not sure I want to see middle America standing pantsless in airports across the country.  Sure, the x-ray machines will pretty much strip you down anyway, but this trend would alter the trauma of airport security in ways I’m not ready to deal with.

Jim Lynch is not an old man, but traditionally it’s been those seniors who are most likely to drop their drawers out of nowhere.  In my experience, these older men just like to show off their battle scars from one surgery or another.  Oftentimes they don’t care who is around and discretion apparently takes too much effort.  I’ve actually seen an elderly man drop his pants to show off a scar to a woman he just met!  Fun times. 

Times weren’t so fun for one elderly man in Chicago last month when the 93-year-old fired shots at paramedics making a well-being check.  According to the story, the man failed to answer after his medical-alarm bracelet went off.  The medics gained entry by removing the air conditioner.  The resident mistook the responders for burglars and fired shots at them!  Fortunately no one was injured as the bullets hit the wall.  The story doesn’t say if the man was wearing pants or not.

Happy Constitution Day!

Today is Constitution Day when we commemorate the establishment of this great nation by playing founding father bingo on college campuses across America.  George Washington and company signed the Constitution into effect on September 17, 1787.  No one had ever done anything like it.  This country might have more issues than a Mousketeer reunion, but we’ve been held together by the words and ideas on that old parchment.

The signers spent the summer of ’87 drafting the Constitution in sweaty Philadelphia.  At that draft, the Patriots took an unlikely quarterback in the 6th round who would, oh wait, that was Tom Brady.  Wrong drafting.  Anyway, I should probably leave all the facts to someone who actually teaches history, so why don’t you click on over to a wonderful breakdown on what one writer has called The Great American Secret.

Love the land you live in Americans.  And remember how it all got started. 

Too Sexy For Her Job?

Can a woman be too attractive for her job? Bring on the sexist debate baby, er, my lady. Maybe you’ve also noticed the recent rash of females beleaguered by their good looks. The issue is far-reaching these days. From sports to business, America to England, Ines Sainz to a Silence Of The Lambs reference, headlines continue to ask if that girl is just too beautiful for her workplace.

Debrahlee Lorenzana: Fired for being her

The first of the business bombshells burst onto the scene this June when Debrahlee Lorenzana lost her job at Citibank for being too hot to handle. Apparently none of her coworkers or supervisors could focus on their work because her appearance was too distracting. I’m assuming these are male co-workers. I can’t speak for the lesbian community because, for those of you who can’t see me, I’m not a lesbian. Or a woman.

I can, however, speak for the male community, and boys you have no leg to stand on. It’s like the time I sat next to the homecoming queen all semester in college algebra. I can tell you a whole lot more about the red tint of her hair than quadratic equations or whatever else those math weirdos do. Anyway, no one listened to me when I explained that I couldn’t focus on polynomials while sitting next to a less than standard form.

Oh yeah, and then there’s the part where you can’t shun someone because they are too pretty. So if Ms. Lorenzana was doing anything wrong then by all means fire her up, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. According to the Village Voice, the fired femme fatale said her bosses “…ordered her to stop wearing turtlenecks. She was also forbidden to wear pencil skirts, three-inch heels, or fitted business suits.”

If you make turtlenecks and fitted business suits too seductive then more power to ya. I mean, when I started college I had to wear a sweater under my turtlenecks just to fill them out.

Donald: Probably not behind this firing

So as a result of all this hotness hoopla, Ms. Lorenzana was stripped of her, wait, what? Oh, stripped of her duties and then fired. If I understand the basic legal argument here it’s that men in her workplace can’t focus on their job without wanting to have intercourse (the sexual kind) with her. According to her friend Tanisha Ritter:

“Men are kind of drawn to her. I’ve seen men turn into complete idiots around her. But it’s not her fault that they act this way, and it shouldn’t be her problem.”

No word on whether or not men also turn into idiots around Ms. Ritter, but I’ve seen plenty of men turn into complete idiots with no women around. Anyway, back to the issue because if I don’t stop thinking about this banker I’ll never get any work done.

Should 9/11 Be A National Holiday?

Image by Presidio of Monterey: DLIFLC & USAG via Flickr

Can you believe nine Septembers have now come and gone since the towers fell that fall? I’m not going to wax nostalgic this time around. I did that on last year’s anniversary and the 10th anniversary next year is sure to stir up more powerful emotions. This year, I just want to consider a simple question that has been thrown around in recent years.

Each year, more and more young adults with no hard memories of that day observe the commemorations with second-hand emotions. We recall the tragedy of the attacks with heavy speeches and somber silence. The day feels different, weightier. Most of us go on with our day with that knowledge in the backs of our minds that something terrible happened on this date.

The question I am considering now is the idea of making September 11th a national holiday. The date is already called Patriot Day, a discretionary day of remembrance. A joint resolution by the House of Representatives in October 2001 called for the special recognition. President Bush signed the resolution into law later that year. Flags are flown at half-staff. A moment of silence is observed. President Obama continued the tradition of symbolically-timed silence last year before giving a speech at the Pentagon.

Still, there are some would like to see 9/11 declared a full federal holiday in which everything is shut down by the government. States and local areas would follow suit and nobody would end up working as our nation would hit the pause button for the entire calendar square. Does that sound like something you would want? I’m not so sure.

From a practical standpoint, we already have Labor Day right around this time of year. From a historical standpoint, we don’t usually go out of our way to make full federal holidays out of national disasters. For a long time, December 7th meant one thing to all Americans: The attack on Pearl Harbor by Japan in 1941. Many people don’t even recognize that anniversary anymore, but this nation never mandated a day of official recognition, and that terrible event is as close as the U.S. has ever come to the terrorist attacks of 9/11.

So what do you think? Should 9/11 be a federally recognized national holiday? Do we want to remember in that way?

Related Articles

• What is Patriot Day? (socyberty.com)

Should Muslims Get A Mosque At Ground Zero?

Should New York build an Islamic mosque near the World Trade Center site in Manhattan?  Amidst economic crisis, oil catastrophe, and the plummeting popularity of a president this heated debate has exploded onto the scene in recent weeks.  Folks keep asking me what I think, so I figured I should formulate some kind of educlayted opinion.

The argument has already gotten pretty nasty since the announcement of the project.  The issue remained somewhat quiet until a recent vote by Community Board 1 came down 29-1 in favor of the worship/community center.  A quarter of the board members abstained.

This issue comes down to two main questions.  Should Muslim leaders pursue this project?  Do they have a right to build a mosque there?  Everything beyond those two factors falls into the camp of emotions, lots of emotion.  As one protestor stated at the board hearing: “This house of evil will be the birthplace of the next terrorist event.”

***

A recent caller to a talk show on a radio station which I will leave unnamed objected to the project with this statement: “Would they build a monument for Hitler next to Auschwitz?”  That’s an intense reaction.  Some folks find that comparison incredibly offensive while others find it accurate.  Nazism was short-lived and brutal.  These days the beliefs and symbols of Hitler’s regime are outlawed in Germany.  I find the Holocaust comparison somewhat off for this debate.   

Perhaps a better example would be the Japanese-American conflict of the 1940s.  It’s hard for this generation to understand the impact of the attack on Pearl Harbor, Hawaii in 1941, but that event felt a lot like 9/11 and cost a comparable number of lives.  What would you say about a project to build a Shinto temple a few hundred yards from where the U.S.S. Arizona was sunk by Japanese fighters?

Nearly a decade after Pearl Harbor, Japan and the U.S. were building a healthy relationship.  Could you imagine a Shinto priest pushing for a facility in that spot?  How would Americans have reacted then?  Let’s flip the scenario.  How do you think Japanese people would have felt about a big, ol’ catholic church right on the doorstep to the Hiroshima memorial?  Why would any American even promote such a plan?  Sounds like a slap in the face.

Allow me one more distinction between 1941 and 2011.  Pearl Harbor was a military facility staffed by men and women serving their country.  The World Trade Center was filled with civilians just working and trying to live out their free lives.

Islam is accepted by our pluralistic society, as are many other beliefs.  We tolerate opposing beliefs, but we’re under no obligation to celebrate them.  Muslims who want this facility have rights in America because heroes of this nation have shed blood by the millions to guarantee freedom.  To mere suggestion of this facility does not seem like the workings of peace but a stirring of conflict.  Lots of folks say, “Build a mosque, just NOT THERE!”  Yet there’s another significant fact that warrants incredulity. 

The Imam and company claiming a desire to “bridge the gap” between Muslims and the rest of America want to break ground on this facility to celebrate Islam on September 11, 2011–the 10th anniversary of the attack. 

Young America, Job Hunting, & Desperation

ARE COLLEGE DEGREES WORTHLESS?

Hey there college crowd, raise your hand if you’ve earned a bachelor’s degree.  Now put your hand down if you’ve found a position in the career you were shooting for.  According to an article on Bloomberg Businessweek yesterday, more and more of you still have your arm raised and may be throwing both hands up in total desperation.

What’s going on?  I’m an optimist but also a realist, and truthfulness demands taking a hard look at some tough facts lest we bury our heads like the ostrich who finally looked up only to see the rest of the pack had moved on.

THE SITUATION

The youth unemployment rate is nearing a whopping 20% these days.  That’s the highest number since the Department of Labor began compiling the data in 1948.  I said 1948!  Let’s clear up two quick points here.  First, the age bracket for youth unemployment is generally considered 16-24 years old.  Second, the 20% figure is unemployment which means people trying to find work yet unable to do so.  The number of 16-24 year olds without jobs is way higher, somewhere over 50% in recent weeks.  We haven’t seen this many young Americans without jobs since World War II.

THE CAUSE

An estimated 7 million jobs worked by young people have disappeared during the current economic downturn.  Basic economics explains much of this shortage of opportunities, but there’s another factor that can’t be ignored.  We have never seen this type of competition for entry-level jobs between young and older workers in America.

Older Americans are themselves facing a jobs crisis.  Pensions have been devastated, securities threatened.  More folks over the age of 55 are working now than before the recession as spousal incomes and home values decline.  When these workers get laid off they enter the same race for work already packed with so many young job seekers.

Another challenge is increasing competition among cohorts of recent graduating classes.  The current class is competing with grads from ’09, ’08, and so on.

THE OUTLOOK

Let me submit to you three major impacts we’ll likely see from this trend.

1. Tougher future.

Future job and earning prospects are hurt by this current downturn.  The Bloomberg article notes that two recessions in the early 80s created wage losses for the next 15 years for those who entered that bad job market.  Their initial entry positions were lowered, their wages less, their skills slower developing.  We are hovering around that same unemployment level now, so the future may not be as bright for new workers as it was 5 or 10 years ago.

Put simply, the quicker you get out of the gate the better, and right now the gate is jammed for a lot of entry-level seekers.

2. Deeper Debt.

There’s no end in sight to our skyrocketing debt (personal and national) in an age of continued consumption.  The average college debt is now over $23,ooo up from around $18,000 in the mid-late 90s.  Incomes are down, living and education costs are up, and financial discipline disappeared somewhere back there behind that broken starting gate.

Overall credit card debt in the United States increased around 18% in 2009 with some states seeing a rise as much as 30%!  The plastic cards are double-edged swords indeed.  Plenty of those charges go towards living expenses, but you know many of the purchases are for non-essential items.  Too often being broke and out of work is no longer an excuse to deprive ourselves of what we just gotta have.  After all, we deserve it right?

Meaning Amidst The Violence

Today is the anniversary of one of the most shocking events of my lifetime. On this day in 1999, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold carried out their sickening assault at Columbine High School. Last year, upon the commemoration of the 10th anniversary of the massacre, President Bill Clinton said the events at that school in Colorado “changed us forever.” 

I wonder what that change has looked like for us. There are plenty of different perspectives after an event of this magnitude. Some people are closer than others, some always seem to see things more clearly, and some are perpetually clueless. Now that eleven years have passed, there’s a large segment of the population who weren’t old enough to notice the worst public school shooting in American history.

Change comes in a lot of forms. The harshest form reshaped the lives of the families of the 15 people who died, two dozen wounded, and countless others in that devastated community. Some folks used the shootings to pump up the gun control debate. A lot of people threw their hands in the air and saw no hope. Many more, especially those inspired by the character of Cassie Bernall and Rachel Scott, found light in the midst of darkness, meaning amidst the monstrous.

I think if we’re honest, a lot of us hear about these hellish tragedies and thank God that it didn’t happen to us. Then we go on with our lives hoping that nothing like that ever will.

We always want everything to make sense but sometimes life just doesn’t. So what do we do with a story like this?  How are we supposed to commemorate what took place in Littleton, Colorado? The short answer is that we live purposefully, intending to make a positive difference in the world around us everyday.

If you could, would you reach out to one of the parents whose child was slaughtered while they were at school? Most of us would. Then who is around us today, even right now maybe, and hurting? What person in your life needs a soft word of encouragement or a few minutes of your time?

What about those victims? Would you love to go back in time and tell them what was coming? I think we all wish we could go back and prevent some terrible things that have happened. Of course we can’t, but the future is coming. How much of it do you have left?  What if tomorrow is your day? What if it’s today? Are you ready? None of us want to face that reality right now, but could you if you had to? Cassie and Rachel did.

The last one is toughest of all. What about those two young guys who planned the rampage and never looked back? Why did they hate? What did they need? We’ll never have all the answers, but wouldn’t you like to go back to the point in their lives when they ran so far from the main path? I wonder if maybe they were pushed a little from that path, from the crowd. I bet they were pushed a lot.

AFC North Blotter

For the love of the Chief.  What would Art Rooney say if he saw his beloved franchise piling up more citations than a frat house fight club.  The Pittsburgh Steelers were once the cleanest cut of all sports franchises.  Now, they’ve spiraled into a police blotter laughingstock. 

Maybe they’ve been brought down by the company they keep.  The AFC North division of the NFL continues to produce some of professional football’s finest idiots.  I’m surprised the league hasn’t realigned to get the Oakland Raiders in with the Cincinnati Bengals, Baltimore Ravens, Cleveland Brown, and em’ Stillers.    

 If you ignore these stories, Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger just dodged another legal bullet yesterday when the DA in the case announced no charges would be filed over allegations of sexual assault.  In the meantime, Super Bowl MVP receiver Santonio Holmes got in more trouble for smoking more weed (among other things) and proved that winning doesn’t make you mature when he posted messages to the public which might as well have said, “Dear Steelers, please get rid of me as soon as possible for being such a complete…”  You get the idea.  These events come on the heels of over two years of other legal problems for players Jeff Reed, James Harrison, and Cedrick Wilson.  

Let me be clear about Big Ben first.  He is not guilty of anything more than terrible judgment.  The showboating DA made this point repeatedly and inappropriately during the press conference to announce there would be no trial because there was no evidence and the alleged victim and her family were adamantly against even filing in the first place.  So Ben is innocent of criminality but guilty of stupidity.  College was fun and all, but what is an internationally-known super-millionaire doing in a college bar in Georgia?    

I wish he would talk to

Python Hunting Season Is Here…Finally

Get ready Florida residents cause it’s that time of the year.  That’s right: Python hunting season is here.  Florida is a strange place with a long tradition of stranger traditions and rules.  Like Forrest Gump once said, “It’s this whole other country.”

For just $26 South Florida residents can obtain a special python hunting permit.  That may seem a little pricey when you consider that South Florida residents can already walk into the Everglades and suffer a horrible death enjoy nature for free.

I know what you’re thinking.  You’re saying, “Sure fella that’s great for professional snake hunters, but what about those of us inexperienced with man-guzzling pythons?”  Good question.  Florida officials are one step ahead of you.  They are offering workshops on how to identify, stalk, and capture deadly reptiles. 

>

Some pythons will reconsider their next joy slither

Seriously.

First off, I can probably help out with that whole “how do I identify a reptile that may end my life?” dilemma.  Here are some tips.  If it ain’t furry, moves quick, and hisses at you while striking, you’ve probably located something to watch out for.  If a creature looks nothing like a puppy yet curls up in your garage, be leary.  If you are in the Everglades, don’t trust anything that moves. 

As for the whole capture thing, you may want to consult those professionals or just watch Bear Grylls capture and kill a gator in the swamp.

Now for you extra-zealous reptile hunters out there, you might be wondering why so many limitations.  “Only Burmese Python season?” you say.  Fret not my psychopathic friend.  Also in season are fellow pythons of the Indian and African rock persuasion.  I imagine the ACLU already has a lawsuit in the works for some type of reptilian discrimination.  But wait there’s more!  You can also take green anacondas and Nile monitor lizards.  Seriously.

Bay 9 News in Florida has a constant stream of python related stories.  I know this because my sister is a total Bay 9 junkie.  Consider some of these stories.

Students On Strike

College students across 32 states skipped classes yesterday.  Well, that actually happens everyday, but yesterday they had a purpose beyond sleeping in.  These motivated matriculators are protesting budget cuts, employee layoffs, and increasing costs which damage the quality of education.  I think.  It’s also possible they just wanted get out of class.  Also their teachers might just be offering them extra credit for making so much noise to administrators.

Students from all walks of life participated in the chaotic movement.  See them as you want to see them but student protestors include athletes…and basket cases…and princesses…and maybe even a criminal.  Whoever they are, they better not mess with the bull or they’ll get the horns.

One witness reportedly heard the following exchange yesterday.

UPTIGHT TOP BRASS AUTHORITY FIGURE:  “What was that ruckus?”

FAST-THINKING ANGST-RIDDEN STUDENT: “Uh, what ruckus?”

UTBAF: “I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus.”

F-TA-RS: “Could you describe the ruckus sir?”

And so it went until the hard-nosed administrator threatened to “crack skulls” if the demonstrators persisted.

***

The walkouts ranged from coast to coast.  Students from CUNY to the University of Washington participated in the nationwide “March 4th National Day of Action for Public Education.”  Their goal was to shut down campuses for half a day in protest of rising tuition costs and supporting educational workers.  Another problem seems to be that tuition is going up as scholarship opportunities go down.

In a USA Today article on the student rally, Maryland junior Jon Berger was quoted as saying:

“We’re seeing more classes taught by adjuncts and grad students who aren’t getting paid (fairly).  We’re seeing larger class sizes, and some kids in certain majors … can’t get all the courses they need in four years.”

Nasty (Bacon) Bits & Pieces

Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez told his people last week they better lose some weight if their glorious revolution is to be successful.  “There are lots of fat people,” said the not-so-svelte tyrant.  He explained the solution during a televised speech.  “Doing sit-ups. Eating well. One has to learn how to eat.”

>

Will Michael Moore heed the diet call of his buddy Chavez?

So what does a good revolutionary eat?  Soy milk and rice pasta for starters.  Such healthy dishes make Chavez feel “ready to continue commanding the Bolívarian revolution”.  Unfortunately, most Venezuelans prefer coke, beer, and fried pork. 

I’m sure the fact that Chavez is calling his people fat has nothing to do with their love for American-style food products.  I’m further confident this speech has nothing to do with coming restrictions on the lives of Venezuelans.  Riiiigggghhhht.

In other news this past week, pigs may not be as stupid as we thought.  Actually, let’s face it, no one cares about how smart pigs might be except for misguided researchers intent on wasting millions of dollars so we can figure out how smart our food might be before it walks to slaughter.  A study on pig cognition has shown that pigs must be quick learners.  Wanna know what it is to lead an empty life?  Become a scientific researcher that doesn’t benefit society no matter how “successful” they ever become.  I wonder if this is a government-funded (our tax money) project.

Speaking of fat pigs, Rosie O’Donnell was back in the news last week.  I guess pigs aren’t that smart after all.  She managed to chortle out a couple swears before dropping an F bomb on Fallon’s audience.  By the way, Fallon loses a ton of cred in my book for appearing to be so happy about her.  I thought we knew you better Jimmy. 

Rosie’s lone positive contribution to society is that she didn’t ruin A League Of Their Own.  I still can’t believe she played Betty Rubble, beloved cartoon of my youth.  She makes Miss Piggy look like Marilyn Monroe.  I never thought twice about Miss Nasty until I happened to catch her ambushing Tom Selleck on her doomed show back in 1999.  She’s been an abject failure ever since.

Maybe they can send some of these fools to the moon.  According to NASA, there’s plenty of water there for them to drink.  You may remember back on October 9th when some hopeful observers stood on their front porch or lawn to see the Lcross Centuar make impact with the moon.  Apparently you can’t see a car crash 250,000 miles away.  Shocker. 

20th Anniversary Of The Wall’s Fall: Thanks For Playing Communism

Let’s see if I can slip one past the censors here like Adrian Cronauer in Good Morning Vietnam.  The Berlin Wall–the very symbol of the Cold War between capitalism and communism–came down twenty years ago today.  You won’t hear too much about this monstrously historic day from media types hell-bent on leading America towards some of the same failed ideas symbolized by that wall.  You also won’t hear about it from President Obama who is skipping the international celebration of the event!  What?

Well, forgive me if I’d like to celebrate the failure of the Soviet Union and the victory, yes victory, of America and the free world in the Cold War led by President Reagan.  Such statements may shock your American sensibilities, so let’s check in on Europe where they are prominently celebrating this historic anniversary, the commemoration of the day freedom won out, when our open system conquered the veiled evil, yes evil, of the Soviet’s communist empire. 

The Berlin celebration will balance glitz with sobriety.  World leaders such as British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, French President Sarkozy, Russian President Medvedev, and more will be there to speak.  Yet Obama won’t.  As the German news publication Der Spiegel put it, “Barrack is too busy.” 

Obama has already made more international trips in his first year than Bush and Clinton combined, yet he doesn’t have time to go to Berlin.  Now, thanks to a little something called high school, I know a thing or two about getting blown off.  I’ve heard plenty of excuses in the “I have to wash my hair all weekend” mode.  So I feel qualified to say that Obama is full of it.  Sorry Berlin.  Like Molly Ringwald in Pretty In Pink, you can keep putting on all the makeup you want, but sometimes he just isn’t going to show no matter what he says.

This just in from the Not Speaking Of Makeup department: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is attending in Obama’s place.  Oh goodie.

Obama’s Uh-Oh Of The Month

The results are in.  For those of you unaware, yesterday was actually an election day.  If you missed it, don’t worry.  It’s only the staple of our entire republican way of life in which we give all power to elected representatives in a free and fair process that is the hallmark of democracy.  Whew.  Where was I?

Oh yeah, the Democrats got trounced.  Not surprising if you read history books.  This trend is common.  As a matter of fact, you’ve perhaps heard that in all America’s history, each time a political party takes the White House (i.e. Dems in 2008), that party loses the following midterm elections.  The only two exceptions are FDR and George W. Bush.  Roosevelt had the country’s attention during the Great Depression while Bush rocked America’s approval following 9/11. 

So independents in key states broke for the GOP last night.  That simply lines up with our history, a two century string of checks and balances where the winners eventually lose and the losers can usually make a comeback.

You can read any of a thousand articles for details, but here’s the important basics you should know to gather the meaning of these elections.

1. Obama ‘s influence takes a hit.  He personally campaigned a good deal for his party, most notably Democratic gubernatorial candidates in NJ (Corzine) and Virginia (Deeds).  They both lost even with the president’s backing. 

Obama’s House Gives Censorship A Twirl

The White House got a kick in the pants this week from Constitution-wielding media networks.  Fitting that at Halloween time our Executive branch would attempt one of the scariest violations of democratic rights I’ve seen in my lifetime.  Obama’s had a problem with Fox News for some time now for what he feels is unfair treatment.  By unfair, he means they report the news even if it’s critical of him.  Love ’em or hate ’em, if Fox News were making stuff up all the time, they wouldn’t be a part of the White House pool. 

The White House pool is a five network rotation of media outlets that share costs and responsibilities of covering White House happenings.  Fox News has been a part of the pool since 1997.  On Thursday, the White House tried to exclude Fox News from interviewing Obama’s pay czar Ken Feinberg.  The decision to ban a major news network from the president’s administration is stunning, and I don’t mean stunning as in “look at Kate Beckinsale!”  I’m talking stunning as in here’s a taser right to the gut of First Amendment rights. 

Remember Thomas Jefferson’s take on the importance of the press?  If you’ve never read this before, here you go.

“The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them.” — Thomas Jefferson to Edward Carrington, 1787.

Well, here comes the good part of this story.  The other members of the D.C. press put aside partisan obsession and decided that Jefferson was right and Obama’s White House is wrong.  ABC, NBC, CBS, and CNN refused to interview Feinberg if Fox was to be ostracized.  The White House caved.  How cool is that?