Gen X Life: Nick Kids & Slime

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In addition to being runner up in this year’s March Movie Madness tourney, Jessica Buttram is one of the funniest gals in all of webdom. Her comments, tweets, and emails crack me up! She’s also a sweet wife and mom who blogs over at Meet The Buttrams. Today she hops into our look at the Life & Times of Gen X with memories of a channel that forever changed how childhood would look.

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My mom always made sure our house was spotless before guests came over. Clay, you may want to pick that dirty robe up off the floor. Thanks.

Anyway, when Clay* asked** me*** to add my wit and wisdom for his homage to Gen X, I jumped at the chance, because I was totally a NICK kid.

Before Disney tried to monopolize children’s entertainment and after my mom put the squash on my MTV watching, there was Nickelodeon. (Sing it with me, Ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni, Nick-a-lo-deon!)

There were many a Nickelodeon show on my after-school/Saturday-night repertoire, including, but not limited to, You Can’t Do That On Television, Double Dare, Salute Your Shorts, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, and my personal bread and butter, Clarissa Explains It All. And I know you are dying to revisit them all. Strap on your safety gear, because we are about to jump in faster than The Blue Team can fit ten pies in their pants.

You Can’t Do That On Television: If you’re scratching your head, wondering, “What kind of show is that? I don’t know!” then I will have to slime you with green slime. It was one of the first sketch comedies for kids (if not the first), originally a Canadian broadcast that Nickelodeon bought and syndicated beginning in 1981. A short-haired, unknown Alanis Morrisette was a cast member. They slimed anyone who said, “I don’t know.” They washed them off if they said, “water.” One-liners, awesome haircuts, the long “oo” sound…comedic gold.

My favorite segment was when a handful of cast members would hide in lockers and do basically a knock-knock routine. One kid would stick his head out of his locker, “Hey, Christine!” Then Christine would pop out of her locker and say, “Yeah, Alasdair?” “Did you know a lot of big rockstars can’t read music?” “That doesn’t surprise me. Most rockstars can’t read at all!” Cue canned laughter. I wanted to get slimed so, so badly.