Just Being Honest
Image by Anson Kennedy via Flickr
People often ask me questions about history as if I should know every event that has ever occurred complete with names, dates, and quirky yet relevant information surrounding the thing. I enjoy the challenge, but don’t be surprised if I say I have no idea about this or that.
You’ve probably experienced the same thing in your life. Whether it’s a field you work in, a trait you’re known for, or something else, have you ever been expected to know about something that you just don’t?
I have a reputation for being a guy who knows movies. People expect me to have seen just about every film ever made, especially all the big names.
Truth is, I haven’t.
So in that spirit, I am today coming forward about some movies I have not seen. These are movies that everybody has seen, so of course Clay has seen them too right? He hasn’t? Gasp-laugh-snicker-snort!
A quick search led me first to 100 Great Movies Every Guy MUST See. I was cruising along this list, confidant that I’d seen the first few and disagreeing with some of the selections when I got to #10 and realized I still have not watched this film. What was it?
Platoon.
There, I said it. Despite knowing about Platoon forever and even owning a copy for years, I still have not watched the thing. I don’t know why other than to suggest I’ve always had some kind of block when it comes to Vietnam.
Now that I’m out with it, I feel a tidal wave of confession ready to pour. What else is on that list or any other that I’ve yet to view?
Full Metal Jacket–Another Vietnam movie I never watched. I also wasn’t crazy about Apocalypse Now the one time I tried to watch it.
Taxi Driver–Didn’t DeNiro play a Vietnam War vet? Maybe it’s just the negative movies about Vietnam I avoid because I love Forrest Gump, We Were Soldiers, and even Magnum P.I. for that matter.
I’ve seen most of the other guy movies on that list, so I hopped over to the top 100 all-time flicks of the AFI (American Film Institute).
I’ve been putting off Lawrence of Arabia (#7) for years. Raging Bull is nowhere near #4, although I’d be lying if I said I’ve watched more than 30 minutes of that one. A lot of the all-time greats are much older, but I’ve still seen most of them. Not Annie Hall. If Woody Allen was filming a movie in my backyard I’d probably close the curtains.
All of this brings me to Star Wars. (Some of you in your minds right there just went “oh no he isn’t”). I think I’ve seen all parts of the original three films but don’t remember ever sitting down and just watching one straight through. I never owned an action figure from the franchise and haven’t watched any of those movies in 10-15 years easy. I filled those early years in with Superman and the hapless Clark Kent, my earliest childhood hero.
Part of me thinks I’m just not the biggest sci-fi geeky guy. I am after all a lifelong dork which is a different species than geeks. But then I realize that I love the original Star Trek. I’ve seen many of the original episodes because they were always on when I was growing up. I’ve seen all the movies at least twice (1 and 5 are bad) and pretty much memorized 4 and 6, both of which are some all-time faves.
Why do we see what we see and like what we like? How much of it is built into our hard-wiring? How much is family influenced? The sociologist in me recognizes various generational and cultural factors, but is that all there is to it? I’d love to hear what you think.
What movies have you never watched?
What information do people expect you to know that you just don’t?
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Life. Culture. Education.
Life as Pop Culture Professor Clay Morgan
In The Matrix, Morpheus tells Neo he can take the blue pill and go on believing whatever he wants to believe. Or he can take the red pill to stay in Wonderland and find out how deep the rabbit hole goes.
This is a red pill type site that provides information in an entertaining way. It’s about clear thinking and good writing. It’s about finding meaning amidst the absurd. It’s about humor and truth.
I’m a writer / speaker who teaches history and political courses at a couple of local colleges. Where is local, you say? Well, that would be Wonderland of course.
On topics ranging from pop culture to the meaning of life, my brain’s always poppin’. Take the red pill and unplug.
EduClaytion 
I’ve never watched a Monty Python movie all the way through from start to finish. Up until last year I had never watched any of the Batman movies (had to watch Heath, though). Only ever saw the one Star Trek movie where they came back to earth to save the whales.
But I pretty much have Dumb & Dumber memorized…
I’m with you on Dumb & Dumber. In fact, I had that haircut Jim Carrey has in the movie when it came out. People at that act up.
Do you look like Jim Carey too?
Just about everybody called me Jim Carrey in high school. I don’t get that so much anymore, but I used to act like him all the time. I could mimic many of his characters from In Living Color back in the day when J-Lo was just a fly girl.
I’m slightly ashamed to admit this, but I have a hard time watching almost any movie. It appears as though I have somewhat of an attention-span problem, and have a hard time watching a movie for more than 20 minutes. My friends and family all know that I’m plagued with this, so they are very understanding if I walk away from a movie after 18 minutes.
Unfortunately, it means that it takes me a good 4 or 5 days to watch a movie in its entirety (even The Godfather which is one of my favourites). The only exception, however, has been with Braveheart…my all-time favourite movie, of which I can quote almost every line verbatim in almost a freaky Rainman-like way. 😉
I’ve heard others say something similar about not watching movies. That doesn’t really compute with my movie crazy brain but it’s certainly no cause for shame 😉 Besides, you were already on my “people who I think rock” list before you went and called Braveheart your “all-time favourite movie.” You win.
If there’s a movie I haven’t seen, it’s because I wasn’t around people who wanted to watch it. Generally speaking, I rarely rent a movie to enjoy by myself, so what I’m watching usually has to do with who i’m watching it with. Now, that’s not to say I have nothing to do with what we watch, but I also hate to think that I’m dominating the choices so I’m willing to relent. This explains the millions of time I’ve seen Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail and the few times I’ve ever seen more awesome movies.
Interesting take. I’ve watched hundreds of movies by myself and even go to the theater alone at times when I want to clear my head. Strange to many people, I know.
I’ve never watched any of the Dumb and Dumber movies..they just have no appeal. I generally avoid all movies that have slapstick in them since I just don’t find it funny at all. So, for me paying to even see them at the cinema let alone rent them is a waste of money and time. I love the Monty Python films and I’ve seen many of them at least 15 times. I’ve noticed that I can see British films several times..but I’d have to say that my favourite films are by directors such as Almodóvar and Bertolucci. Star Wars? Mmmm.. I was around to see them when they first came out but I just can’t get excited about them and when I get bored my tendency of falling asleep kicks in.
I would say Monty Python is about as slapstick as you can get right? But you know what you like for sure.
So funny. Every movie you listed above, I haven’t seen as well. I think for me, the movie has to be kinda dumb. I like dumb comedy romance type movies. I love them. My husband hates them. He likes action and scifi and crap like that 🙂 For an activity (just last week), I was to come as Princess Leia from Star Wars (We were playing Hollywood Squares–it wasn’t my party, I’m not lame like that, but I participated). Anyway, I bought real rolls, used a headband and hooked it to the side of my head, bought a white dress and everything. The only problem, I hadn’t watched Star Wars to know anything about here. Needless to say, I watched a lot of YouTube to catch up.
Sappy romance–I’m there. I even like a bit of horror as well, but not blood and guts horror. I HATE action movies. I loathe them, yet my husband drags me to them all the time–we will be seeing Battle for LA. I don’t wanna. But I do think Aliens vs Cowboys looks interesting 🙂
Awesome post.
Many of us do stick to certain genres much more than others. Admittedly, I’m not the first guy to run out and watch dramatic chick flicks. I love comedic ones though. I can handle any movie if the story is solid. Beyond that the direction and performances matter.
What a fun…and relevant…post. Everyone asks me about movies all the time as well, since I have a rep for a photographic memory. I’ve pretty much bypassed entire genres (slashers and rom-coms come to mind), as well as “classics” like Annie Hall or Kramer vs. Kramer that just have no appeal to me based on their description. At this stage in my life, if I watch a movie, I want at least one car chase or helicopter blowing up. Just sayin’. Loved your post!
Interesting you mention Kramer v. Kramer. That’s one of a hundred that I have put off for years. I look through movies nominated by the Academy over the years and don’t want to watch half of them just based on a) description as you say and b) the fact that the Academy nominated them. In my experience, the Oscar often goes to one of the worst movies made all year.
Off the top of my head, I’ve never seen any of the Scream movies…and have only seen the first Saw movie. Wait, what was the movie I voted for in the Movie Madness…oh yes, whatever Arty’s movie was…never saw it. Lol. 🙂
Ha, way to support the man and not the film. I saw the first Scream a couple of times in the theater I think. Definitely saw the 2nd one too. Can’t remember anything else. I forget about many movies I saw at some point when I was younger.
Citizen Kane. Avatar. Anything by Woody Allen. I’m sure there are others. Tons and tons of others.
Have you ever seen the “Better Late Than Never” feature on The Onion’s A.V. Club? Lots and lots of admissions like these.
I have not seen as far as I know but will check it out. Sounds fun!
Because I have a Ph.D. in literature, people expect that I’ve read/seen every Shakespeare play. No, I haven’t read Titus, and a whole bunch of others, sorry!
You and my 18-yr-old should chat. He is a huge film buff, and wants to major in film in college (don’t ask me how practical that is). He’s considering starting a film blog.
Love your blog, as always!
As a history guy people expect me to know more about Shakespeare at times. Ugh. I know nothing except his general philosophy. I’ve never once read a Shakespeare story/play/whatever they are. I know, I know. I don’t even do well with modern movies of his stuff. Although I did once memorize some of those scenes from MacBeth.
I despised it so much I think I never wanted to see Shakespeare again. So I will never EVER force students of any age to mindlessly memorize (that’s a thing right?) something they despise. They’ll instantly develop a lifelong hatred for the subject.
Well snicker-snort to you. I haven’t seen them all but I have always been a movie nut, got it from my mother. Also a SF fan so I have seen all of the Star Wars filmsme (in a theater, in the month they were released) Episodes 1,2,3 were not good but I didn’t know that going in. Saw the Star Treks, 2001…Monty Pythons… But the other day I was checking a list of classics and realized I’d never seen Tom Jones. So I added it to my Netflix queue. I also have never seen Schindler’s List but that was a conscious decision. Too much, I could hardly make it through Sophie’s Choice. Oh also would never see Slashers, my violence has to be thoughtful not gratuitous.
So you also have made a conscious decision on certain films. I think a lot of people would agree with you on the slasher stuff too. Sometimes I’m like House though and really love totally mindless movies. Great stress relievers for me.
Movies I haven’t seen include many of the “classics” but I have made concerted efforts in the past to see some of those “must watch” movies.
I’ve only missed 11 of the movies on that list of 100, I’m not unhappy with that.
As for things people ask me about, I guess it’s mainly computers and technology because of my degree and my job. Truth be told though, I don’t have any desire to be a true IT nerd; most of my friends know more about technology than I do!
So you get called when someone’s computer goes on the fritz. I’ve done that to people as well I suppose. I am completely lost on most technology and fixing just about anything outside of sentence structure and people.
Great post, Clay! People ask me lots of questions about healthy eating – about food additives, things to eat and no eat, and lots of questions about why. I try to eat healthy, but it certainly doesn’t mean I have all the answers. A lot of times I skim through an article and decide I should avoid something, but I don’t memorize it. It makes it tough for me to inform those inquisitive folks something convincing.
As far as movies go, I haven’t seen lots of them, and if it was up for an Academy award I probably haven’t seen it. In fact, in the MMM, I had only seen 13 of the 32 movies. I think a lot of that has to do with my upbringing. We didn’t spend much on going to movies, and sometimes we watched them at home. We usually saw one of three genres: chick flicks (’cause that’s what mom wanted to see), action (dad’s pick), or the occasional drama. We spent more of our time, though, watching t.v. My dad was a Trekkie, so we watched Star Trek A LOT. I don’t know that I would’ve picked it growing up, but I’m a fan now, and I loved the last Star Trek movie that came out. I’ve branched out some, but I still don’t spend much time or money on movies.
Cool beans (are they healthy to eat?). As a trekkie, I was super pumped for the new Star Trek, even saw it twice in theaters even if the 2nd time was at the cheap theater (.99 cents!) The difference between the new Star Trek and the newest Star Wars though was that the new Star Trek wasn’t terrible. I have tried 2 or 3 times to get through Episode 1 and I just can’t make it.
I’ve also seen all the Star Trek and none of the Star Wars – 1 and 5 are awful, but my favorite was 2 followed by 4 and 6. Saw Annie Hall – hated it – never got the appeal of Woody Allen films.
As for being expected to “know it all”, every time I go to a baby or wedding shower, my friends just expect I’ll win all the games because “you always do” – makes me not want to play at all, who needs that kind of pressure. 😉
You’re right about Star Trek 2 being a good one. The 3rd wasn’t so bad either. In fact, ST3 is the first movie I have a memory of seeing in a theater. I was young. The second film I remember in theaters? The Natural w/ Robert Redford.
Never seen Titanic.
Still proud of that one.
Good move. That would be worth putting on your tombstone.
I can respect that. The last hour is cool, but so much of the rest of the thing is rubbish.
Well I know everything about everything, so good luck stumping me.
But more to the point, I feel shaken to the core that you’re a Trekkie and not a Star Wars fan. Can we even be friends? It is all kinds of existential crisis up in here.
Maybe the reason you find this site so irresistible is because opposites attract. It’s gotta be enlightening for you to learn what’s really cool after all these years seeing as how I’m never wrong either 😉
I’ve never seen Gone with the Wind and I have no desire to ever see it.
I can handle that but it’s a good movie. Definitely slow at times, but I was usually distracted by Vivien Leigh, one of the first females I remember finding attractive. Of course, she was already dead by then so…
Now that I’ve commented on everyone’s comments, I’ve run out of things to say. Okay. Maybe not.
It would be faster for me to list the movies I have seen that haven’t. I do have something for the book-to-movie films, though.
To Kill a Mockingbird is one, for example, where the movie does measure up to the book. Gregory Peck (I think he must be a distant relative of Colin Firth’s) could be the reason.
I totally changed the topic, didn’t I?
And an English teacher with a typo.
Glossary: that = than
Why am I not surprised that you brought the comment from To Kill a Mockingbird straight to the Firth?
Great post, Clay. That honesty thing is part of your awesome appeal. You are very real, and people need real in their lives. Now that you mention it, I’ve never seen Taxi Driver or Raging Bull, either. Thanks for your post.
Thanks Piper. People do most definitely need real.
It seems as if I forget so many details of the movies I’ve seen as soon as I walk away from the TV – automatic cerebral dump. However, I KNOW that I did not see Poltergeist and only use the “They’re here” quote to appear like I did. Because seriously, who didn’t? But that’s ok…I’m on safe ground here ’cause at least I saw Star Wars!
You are on safe ground. Now that you mention it, I’ve not seen all of Poltergeist either.
I have never watched Casablanca or Gone with the Wind or most of those older “classics.”
And being a pastor means often being put on the spot about something in the Bible even though it may have been a while since I have studied the scripture in question. I often say “I’m not sure, but I’ll get back to you.”
“Gone With the Wind” is overrated, but “Casablanca” is timeless. It’s about love and honor and sacrifice, and it’s one of the most quotable movies of all time.
Yeah, you should be able to quote Leviticus perfectly. I do recommend Casablanca for sure.
I’ve never seen It’s a Wonderful Life, but I hear about it all the time.
You should watch it. It’s a good movie — a little corny, but well written and with great performances. I mean, it’s this beloved family picture, and it’s about a man who’s so unhappy that he considers committing suicide on Christmas Eve. It’s a really dark movie in a lot of ways, but people love it. It’s worth checking out.
We’ve talked about this Chase. You and your wife will def enjoy IAWL when you take it in.
“Platoon,” like all Oliver Stone movies, beats you over the head, making the same point (war is bloody and awful) over and over and over and over again. “Lawrence of Arabia” is good but would be better if it were about an hour shorter. “Annie Hall” is good. It’s of its time, but it’s good, but no way should it have beaten “Star Wars” for best picture.
I sense a fellow Oliver Stone basher. Maybe I’m wrong, but that guy’s a joke. I knew you’d bring the knowledge on these movies Todd.
Movies I never watched, the amazing part is I like so many styles of movies but never got in to the shock horror films like “Friday the 13th” now I loved the old Horror films with Vincent Price in “The Fly” (didn’t care for the new version) or the old “Frankenstein”,then there was Mel Brooks “Young Frankenstein” which I really enjoyed,not much horror but a lot of fun.
What people think I should know??
Being from N.Y. – The Yankees every year every player, The Mob every Godfather every hitman, Times square every Hooker every pimp, Broadway every play every actor..Only know all about one.. have to guess 🙂
I had a thing for Geena Davis during my teenage years because of The Fly. Young Frankenstein is one of the great comedies of all time. I don’t know which one you know though.
Avatar. I’m the only American to not see it and I know that I’ve disappointed James Cameron. So ashamed.
Avatar is overrated bigtime. In my humble opinion. I get more enjoyment from Hugh Grant movies.
I have seen bits and pieces of lots of movies. I don’t know what the Flying Monkeys are in The Wizard of Oz , for example.
For some time I’ve been on fast-forward so much that any time I sit still, I fall asleep. I call it movie narcilepsy, but it happens with reading, too. However, I’ve noticed a direct correlation between the amount of explosions, battle scenes, and other violence and my immediate nod off. At the first fire of machine guns, nighty-night, Hipster.
I’m constantly planning a marathon of Monty Python and Godfather movies so I’ll know what I’m missing. I also have purchased The Heathers but still haven’t seen it.
Movie narcilepsy is a cool term. Sounds like a post too! The Godfathers are as good as advertised. Monty Python is legendary. The Heathers is a blast from the past.
I checked out the Guys Must See list and I there are only two movies there I have not seen. Taxi and Barb Wire. I am not sure if me not seeing those two makes me a douche or if seeing the other 99 movies makes me a douche?
Hilarious. I think they put a qualifier on Barb Wire didn’t they? I’m with you on Taxi.
Because I own a bookstore, people think I know every author/book on the face of the earth: “I read this book about a gnome…it was written by a guy named Bob something…it had a blue cover, about this big. Have you got it?”
I went to Yahoo’s list of 100 Movies You Should See Before You Die…I’ve probably seen only a quarter of those at most…I avoid movies with excessive violence, too much silliness (although I love British comedies), and thrillers/horror movies in general. I prefer romantic comedies and well-acted dramas, and I like Pixar animated films. I have never watched a Star Wars or Star Trek movie, haven’t seen Avatar…I just saw Apollo 13 a couple weeks ago! I don’t have the money or the time to watch things that don’t interest me, or that I know will upset me!
Wendy
Well said Wendy. I could totally see you getting those comments about books all the time. I would just make stuff up 🙂
Hi,
I couldn’t have come across your post at a better time.
I had Lawrence of Arabia on my queue for the longest time. It’s on every “must see” “best of all time” list, so I figured there must be something to it. But after about a year of moving it farther and farther down the queue I just deleted it. Life’s too short, you know? 🙂
-Jackie
I know exactly what you mean Jackie. I do the same thing with moving films down the list. Same with books too. I just don’t need to spend 400 pages on something that doesn’t grab me by page 100. Thanks for commenting!
“Oh no he dinnit!”
The original trilogy??? Seriously?
Clay clay CLAY! To appreciate the true genius that is Spaceballs, you must sit down and watch those movies all the way through.
I’ll pop the popcorn. We can do Clockwork Orange style… or have you not seen that either?
Ironically, I have seen those vietnam movies you haven’t (not Apocalypse Now though). You have to see Full Metal Jacket just for R. Lee Ermey. Trust me on this. Skip the Vietnam part if you have to.
I’d have to look at the list to know what movies I should see and haven’t. Anything filmed prior to 1980 is unlikely to have been seen, like Casablanca (seen the last 5 minutes three times, and only that part).
It’s nice to know I’m not alone in missing “classics” but watch Star Wars.
Right after you VOTE SPACEBALLS!
I almost forgot about “Clockwork Orange” til you mentioned it.. That is one for the list strangly good movie, like David Bowie in “The Man That Fell to Earth” … “SPACEBALLS” round 2 will have to support since we had such a close race….
Like I said, I know most of Star Wars, I’ve just never really been a fanatic. I’ve also seen much of Ermey’s stuff in Full Metal Jacket and I enjoyed him doing the same character in Frighteners.
I have never been able to watch “Pulp Fiction” from beginning to end, but I think I have seen every minute of it in bits and pieces by stopping when I was channel surfing.
I highly recommend that you go ahead and invest in watching “Lawrence of Arabia”. Quite possibly one of the top-10 best movies ever made IMHO.
Viet Nam movies turned me off for years too. I could never enjoy “Apocalypse Now” even though it is a great movie. I come from the Nam Generation and although I didn’t serve, I lost frends to the war and it’s very tough to reconcile their deaths with the purpose of the fighting.
“Platoon” and “Full-Metal Jacket” are great films too although certainly Stone nor Kubrick are everyone’s cup of tea. I’ve watched both a couple of times.
More recently, “We Were Soldiers” did a great job of portraying the heroism of those who served in Nam without glorifying the conflict itself in any particular way.
— Judson
I definitely agree with you about We Were Soldiers and while reading your comment I thought of Good Morning Vietnam which I like a great deal. Thanks for commenting.
I sympathise. People think I know about all types of art, which is crazy! I know about the stuff I know about, but known very little (or certainly only as much as anyone else) about art styles and media I don’t use. We had a neighbour who wondered if I could teach her to paint landscapes in oils. I don’t use oils, can’t use oils, and don’t paint landscapes. But she heard ‘artist’ and conjured up this image in her mind that was different from the reality.
Movies… I’ve never seen The sound of music even though I love other Rogers and Hammerstein films, though I’ve got a box set and it’s included and I keep looking at it and thinking… “I don’t want to, but I suppose I could”, kind of as a dare to myself! I’ve also never seen gone with the wind. I’m (now) an ‘older generation’ (I hate that!)so I tend to think in terms of films from a generation older than myself that I’ve not watched, rather than more recent ones.
I’m with you on loving Matrix 1, btw, apropos nothing in this post!
You’re an artist right? You should be able to do sculpting, painting, and graffiti!
Sound of Music is good but I doubt I’ll ever sit down to watch the whole thing again. Gone with the Wind is worth a viewing sometime, even if you break it up over a Saturday-Sunday or something. Tx for commenting!
I’ve never seen any of the Brat Pack movies except Ferris Beuller’s Day Off. I even own Pretty in Pink and have never watched it. Perhaps I hesitate because of all the hype? I also refuse to watch anything linked to Mel Brooks because my best pal worships the guy as if he were the Messiah incarnate.