Deep Thoughts and Lost Tweets
When I was a teenager, one of my favorite parts on Saturday Night Live was Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey. The segments were short and usually hilarious. Soft piano music would play as words scrolled past some tranquil scene of a pretty sunset or sleepy meadow. The familiar narrator’s voice would calmly describe something absurdly funny.
I don’t remember the exact phrasing, but one of the more memorable Thoughts was how if a kid asks why it’s raining a cute thing to tell him is that “God is crying.” If the kid asks why then another cute thing to tell him is that it’s “probably because of something you did.”
These days you can find the whole collection and history at the official website.
I used to wonder how someone could come up with so many ideas like that. Then I grew up and realized that something similar happened to my brain.
See, I’ve got my own deep thoughts, but this is the 21st century and we have social media to express ourselves. I’m specifically thinking of Twitter.
Twitter is a fun community, but you don’t have to know anything about that world to understand what I’m talking about here. In fact, I’ve only been involved for a few months. Anything you say is called a tweet, something I’ve done about 1,400 times since September. There’s lots of conversation and exchanges of links, but there’s also the simple one liners that many people serve up.
I’m no Jack Handey, but here are some of the things that have turned over in my mind in recent months. Without Twitter, western civilization would’ve been deprived of these lost tweets.
“I feel for kids with peanut allergies around Halloween, but then I remind their parents of the dangers and get their candy for free.” ~ November 4
“I couldn’t be more easily distracted right now if I was a kitten with ADHD in a meth lab.” ~ December 8
“Wow, the price of Swedish fish has really gone up! Rip off. Must be because of the oil spill.” ~ November 27
“Just realized I am dressed like Billy Mayes today. Haven’t shaved this week either. Maybe I should try to sell something.” ~ September 28
“My niece asked if we could play Barbies. I guess chasing them down with Tonka trucks isn’t what she meant. Accessorizing.” ~ October 30
“Kids on leashes. I’m looking at one. It’s kind of ridiculous.” ~ November 6
“If I thought someone was trying to kill me with a car bomb I would just have a remote starter installed so I wouldn’t get blown up.” ~ November 23
“Fleas are jerks.” ~ October 2
“Smart cars look ridiculous. Especially when you’re 6’3.” ~ October 4
“Well so much for movie night. Just showed up but the place caught on fire.” ~ October 23
“I’m pretty sure I just saw Richard Simmons at the grocery store. Wait, maybe it was Gene Simmons. Always get them mixed up.” ~ October 26
“This just in: Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton are feuding. In other news, everything else in the world is more important.” ~ December 13
“At age 33 Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence. Today, at the same age, I’ve mastered the breakfast sandwich.” ~ December 15
“Some beards look ridiculous. And I’m not just saying that because I can’t grow one. Probably.” December 16
“I think a really lousy superpower would be if you could grow a mullet at will.” ~ December 21
“You never really see anybody building a snowman in a cemetery but I bet my grandma would like that.” ~ January 12
But Twitter offers way more than just quirky musings. Real connections happen in the Twitterverse. I have ongoing discussions with a variety of people from anywhere on earth and found some of the best peeps I know through the massive site. Check out this tweet from long ago when I first met Ironic Mom.
“This mom in one seriously talented writer. Children, Swearing, and the Middle Finger: http://t.co/Dk“ October 5
I had forgotten how many connections I made in a few short months until digging through these old tweets. Sure glad I did! Facebook is nice for talking to friends, but Twitter is a great way to meet people with similar interests. Don’t worry about not understanding how it works. None of us did at first either, it’s not hard, and we’re eager to help.
~*~*~*~
What are your deep thoughts or lost tweets? Find me on Twitter @eduClaytion.
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Life. Culture. Education.
Life as Pop Culture Professor Clay Morgan
In The Matrix, Morpheus tells Neo he can take the blue pill and go on believing whatever he wants to believe. Or he can take the red pill to stay in Wonderland and find out how deep the rabbit hole goes.
This is a red pill type site that provides information in an entertaining way. It’s about clear thinking and good writing. It’s about finding meaning amidst the absurd. It’s about humor and truth.
I’m a writer / speaker who teaches history and political courses at a couple of local colleges. Where is local, you say? Well, that would be Wonderland of course.
On topics ranging from pop culture to the meaning of life, my brain’s always poppin’. Take the red pill and unplug.
EduClaytion 
Here’s what it looks like when you embed a tweet in your comment. Super simple.
http://twitter.com/#!/ASouthernYankee/status/11191851012849664
Oh, you kids and your newfangled gadgets…I’m off to play with my abacus…
Wendy
Oh Wendy, I know that you would become a Twitter fan immediately. So fun to exchange with all those people you never knew existed. Come on, put the abacus down… 😉
One of my kids asked, “What kind of bird is Big Bird?” My reply, “A big one.” This parenting thing is easy.
Chuck Norris stepped outside, saw his shadow, and punched it in the throat. Spring will start when Chuck Norris tells it to.
Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Give a man fish from Long John Silver’s and he’ll probably get sick.
From @seekingpastor
Those are great Matt! The Big Bird answer is definitely something I would’ve said. And strangely enough, one of the 2-3 tweets I didn’t include here was about how I was pretty sure that Long John Silver’s must deep fry their food in toxic waste. Yet I still eat it occasionally.
LJS keeps drawing me back in, too. Glutton for punishment–and a regular glutton, too.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Susan Bearman and Clay Morgan, kerrymeacham. kerrymeacham said: Funny, funny, funny. I love the Richard/Gene Simmons tweet. http://bit.ly/fZUWTK Thanks for the laugh @eduClaytion […]
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Hi Clay. Love this post. I was always a Jack Handy fan, too. If you’re not following him yet, check out @POTUS. He frequently has stuff like this going. By the way, I think you underestimate the power of the mullet below the Mason-Dixon line. 🙂 All the best.
Thanks Piper. You’re right about the power of the mullet to the south. I was being nearsighted. That would be a cool superpower in certain states.
“I couldn’t be more easily distracted right now if I was a kitten with ADHD in a meth lab.” You just described all three of my children in these 140 characters. I have no tweets to share because they all pale in comparison but I did tweet your post – so that counts, right?
Thanks for the laughs 🙂
Amy
You’ve had some funny ones. And yes, that definitely counts. Many thanks.
“Darn, my site is down again. It’s crashing so much I’m going to start wearing a helmet.”
I need to expand my Twitter repertoire…
Larry, you should do a series of tweet inspired cartoons. I love the caption this line. What if you reversed that and started with some funny tweets like the one you just mentioned?
Heeeey…that sounds awesome! I like that idea, Clay. Thanks!
“Kids on leashes. I’m looking at one. It’s kind of ridiculous.” I thought so too until I birthed the reincarnation of Houdini. Ashamed to admit I tried to harness him up but he always escaped! Now that I’m beginning to figure twitter out I hope to use it more. Thanks for the help.
Ha, don’t take it personally. I love that you made a Houdini reference. You get extra special person points for that. And no problem. Let me know if I can ever help.
I thought getting a gmail account would make me more gangster.
Voting is like seeing Inception, people go because everyone tells them to and they walk out pretending to know what they’re talking about.
I remember that one about Inception! I saw that after I first discovered you. I think that might’ve been another Twitter connection. Word.
Aha! So that’s how you found me. That post brought me both you and Chase.
I didn’t realize you were such a Twitter newbie. And by the way, I’m wondering where it was that you saw my kids on their leash on November 6. Were they barking?
I’m glad you saw that tweet!
You got me AND Chase with that one post? Dang girl you lucky! Well, that’s what Freshly Pressed will do. I got WoPro AND Renee from “Lessons from Teachers & Twits” from my day in the WordPress sun. I’m really glad I found you too 🙂
Comparing great tweets to Jack Handey is excellent! (I still have the tiny DEEP THOUGHTS, BY JACK HANDEY book somewhere on my shelf.)
Lately, I’ve been singling out some of the best, funniest, snarkiest, etc. student tweets and featuring them on my blog in a weekly segment called “Favorite Student Tweets.” As you’ve suggested above, they should be fun to sift through in a few years. =)
If you’re interested: http://kellimarshall.net/unmuzzledthoughts/category/teaching/favorite-student-tweets
I have that same Deep Thoughts book somewhere. I just finished up my crazy long day but am going to check out the link you left. Thanks for stopping by!
I think I suck at tweeting. I have followers and all. Feel free to follow me @rasjacobson and all, but I’m warning you, I suck. While watching the Grammy’s the other night, all I could come up with while Cee Lo was performing was:
“Stevie Wonder dressed himself and is playing with The Muppets.”
Oh, and by the time I tweeted it, the song was over. I’m kinda with Wendy – not quite playing with my abacus, but definitely back there playing Pong.
You should tweet the statement “I think I suck at tweeting.” Better yet, make it a banner profile! Maybe not. I’m sure your tweeting skills will improve with practice. 😉
Another creative post, Clay. Jack Handey is da man.
I like the tweet about snowmen, cemeteries, and your grandmother. Good point. Cemeteries don’t have to be so gloomy.
Here’s one of mine from
Monday, when I was staying home with the “sick” 3YO girl, who had a temp but not enough to drain the craftiness out of her on Valentine’s Day.
#vday cardmaking w/ 3YO. Serious glitter-glue-on-dining-table crime. It looks like Ke$ha sneezed.
My fingers are still glittery.
A lot of people may think you’re just some white guy from the west who uses an ATV to drag kids around on sleds. But comments like the one you’ve left here show that you’ve got that mad gangsta hip-hop style as well. Behold, the versatility of the McFadden.
Despite the naysayers, reading is on the increase. At issue is, what kind of reading. Amazon reports 6/10 books sold are ebooks. B&N says its Nook ereader is its biggest seller in history. Ereading–and Twitter–is not your gramdma’s reading, but it’s how we do it now.
Thanks for your comment Jacqui. Where do you find the most naysayers?
My apologies. I live in the world of educators and their mantra is that reading and writing is dying. I, though, respectfully disagree. I see it growing with the advent of blogs, wikis, twitter, ebooks–the Web 2.0 world.