Deep Thoughts and Lost Tweets

When I was a teenager, one of my favorite parts on Saturday Night Live was Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey. The segments were short and usually hilarious. Soft piano music would play as words scrolled past some tranquil scene of a pretty sunset or sleepy meadow. The familiar narrator’s voice would calmly describe something absurdly funny.

I don’t remember the exact phrasing, but one of the more memorable Thoughts was how if a kid asks why it’s raining a cute thing to tell him is that “God is crying.” If the kid asks why then another cute thing to tell him is that it’s “probably because of something you did.”

These days you can find the whole collection and history at the official website.

I used to wonder how someone could come up with so many ideas like that. Then I grew up and realized that something similar happened to my brain.

See, I’ve got my own deep thoughts, but this is the 21st century and we have social media to express ourselves. I’m specifically thinking of Twitter.

Twitter is a fun community, but you don’t have to know anything about that world to understand what I’m talking about here. In fact, I’ve only been involved for a few months. Anything you say is called a tweet, something I’ve done about 1,400 times since September. There’s lots of conversation and exchanges of links, but there’s also the simple one liners that many people serve up.

I’m no Jack Handey, but here are some of the things that have turned over in my mind in recent months. Without Twitter, western civilization would’ve been deprived of these lost tweets.

“I feel for kids with peanut allergies around Halloween, but then I remind their parents of the dangers and get their candy for free.” ~ November 4

“I couldn’t be more easily distracted right now if I was a kitten with ADHD in a meth lab.” ~ December 8

“Wow, the price of Swedish fish has really gone up! Rip off. Must be because of the oil spill.” ~ November 27

“Just realized I am dressed like Billy Mayes today. Haven’t shaved this week either. Maybe I should try to sell something.” ~ September 28

“My niece asked if we could play Barbies. I guess chasing them down with Tonka trucks isn’t what she meant. Accessorizing.” ~ October 30

“Kids on leashes. I’m looking at one. It’s kind of ridiculous.” ~ November 6

“If I thought someone was trying to kill me with a car bomb I would just have a remote starter installed so I wouldn’t get blown up.” ~ November 23

“Fleas are jerks.” ~ October 2

“Smart cars look ridiculous. Especially when you’re 6’3.” ~ October 4

“Well so much for movie night. Just showed up but the place caught on fire.” ~ October 23

“I’m pretty sure I just saw Richard Simmons at the grocery store. Wait, maybe it was Gene Simmons. Always get them mixed up.” ~ October 26

“This just in: Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton are feuding. In other news, everything else in the world is more important.” ~ December 13

“At age 33 Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence. Today, at the same age, I’ve mastered the breakfast sandwich.” ~ December 15

“Some beards look ridiculous. And I’m not just saying that because I can’t grow one. Probably.” December 16

“I think a really lousy superpower would be if you could grow a mullet at will.” ~ December 21

“You never really see anybody building a snowman in a cemetery but I bet my grandma would like that.” ~ January 12

But Twitter offers way more than just quirky musings. Real connections happen in the Twitterverse. I have ongoing discussions with a variety of people from anywhere on earth and found some of the best peeps I know through the massive site. Check out this tweet from long ago when I first met Ironic Mom.

“This mom in one seriously talented writer. Children, Swearing, and the Middle Finger: http://t.co/Dk“ October 5

I had forgotten how many connections I made in a few short months until digging through these old tweets. Sure glad I did! Facebook is nice for talking to friends, but Twitter is a great way to meet people with similar interests. Don’t worry about not understanding how it works. None of us did at first either, it’s not hard, and we’re eager to help.

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What are your deep thoughts or lost tweets? Find me on Twitter @eduClaytion.

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