How To Discuss The Super Bowl Even Though You Didn’t Watch

Some of you missed the Super Bowl. Maybe you hate football. Maybe you couldn’t watch the game even though every other American adult did. Perhaps you just live in a whole other country and think football has something to do with soccer.

But now everyone’s talking about the big game, and you don’t know how to fit in. Social status is at stake. What if the boss or that hottie in accounting thinks less of you now? The water cooler just became a nightmare.

Fear not. I’m here to offer you some great ways to get in the conversation even if you have no idea what the people who actually watched the game are talking about.

Important Fact: The game took place in North Texas.

Things To Say At The Water Cooler:

A) Historical setting

Say this: “Can you believe how many people were at that Super Bowl? That was the highest attendance ever! Imagine, over 100,000 fans.”

[Bonus Tip: try name dropping here, preferably how you knew someone whose aunt went to the game.]

Sure fire way to blow your cover:  Add that all those people at the game are stupid to want to watch a bunch of men in tights kick a ball around for 3 periods.

B) Vague analysis

This part’s actually simple. Just use phrases from the MadLib school of TV journalism. Meatheads have gotten rich off these phrases for years.