Some Smelly History

I am a dork.  I actually get giddy over historical occurences and anniversaries and can even make meaningful connections out of seemingly random events.  This is why they pay me the less than mediocre bucks.  Allow me to demonstrate.

As a historian and Wikipedia junkie, I know things.  For example, I know that Philadelphia, Pennsylvania was founded on this date in 1682.  I suppose the civil thing here would be to celebrate the patriotic heritage of the town that was a cradle of revolution, the very city where our independence was born.

Flyers Team Motto: Maybe Next Year

But as a lifelong Pittsburgher and Penguins hockey fan, I’m more inclined to compare the land of Flyers to a porcelain toilet of which, I should add, the first one was built on October 28, 1885.  You say I am crass?  Well, I would much rather have a porcelain toilet than Philadelphia.

Speaking of smelly things (I’m referring to the Delaware River), the New York Harbor is kind of a big deal on October 28.  That’s the birthday of one Miss Statue of Liberty.  She was first dedicated by Grover Cleveland (yes, he was a president) in 1886.  Lady Liberty does show her age these days but looks pretty good considering she’ll be 125 years old next autumn.

The end of October has historically been a busy time in U.S. history.  One of the biggest events took place in 1919 when President Woodrow Wilson signed the Volstead Act into law.  That signature led to the Prohibition of alcohol for a decade and a half.  Seven years the later on the same day (October 28), the stock market crashed and sent America into the worst economic disaster in history. 

Even worse, the whole world tanked and we got fascism with characters like Hitler and Mussolini.  Moreover, in what has to be the best example of the law of unintended consequences, restrictions on liquor led to the rise of organized crime headed up by sweethearts such as Al Capone.  Wonderful how things work out when the government butts in.

"Bathtub Gin" wasn't the safest

Of course, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth over the laws against drinking so people quickly scored exceptions.  Doctors were allowed to use whiskey to treat patients, people were allowed to make a certain amount of booze from home, and catholics were allowed to slug vino for communion.  I wonder if they added beer nuts to make the transubstantiation complete. 

As you can imagine with so many people drinking homemade concotions, plenty of folks got sick around this great nation.  Good thing they had porcelain toilets.  Or the Delaware River.  Now you know.

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Did you know history was so informative?  Will you now discourage loved ones from a liberal arts degree?  Follow me on Twitter @eduClaytion.