We’re Gonna Barrack Around Iraq Tonight

These politicians are full of surprises.  Take Barrack Obama.  Please. 

Just kidding. (Kind of).  Oh there I go again. 

What surprises am I referring to?  First an appearance on Jay Leno, now Baghdad.  The president is like those little critters that pop up out of the holes at Chuck E Cheeses.  Only that if you try to strike him you’ll be shot by snipers.

Everyone thought Mr. Obama would be flying home today when Air Force One detoured to Iraq’s capital where he was met by throngs of excited sandstorms. 

Obama’s plans for the Middle East are just filled with zingers.  For example, not only has he decided to escalate troops, he’s chosen to place them in useless territories of Afghanistan while telling American troops in Iraq it’s time to go.  The president sported a business suit and managed to avoid having any shoes thrown at him.  That’s change Iraqis believe in.

I wonder if Venezuelans feel the same way.  On the other side of the world, President Hugo Chavez, a really big jerkhead, said he hopes to “reset” relations with the U.S. over the coming months.  Chavez hated Bush and has already criticized Obama.  Of course, Chavez hates freedom, democracy, and kittens too.  Connecting foreign policy to an XBoxgame, the leader of Venezuela says he would be willing to press the reset button.

When asked for comment, some Venezuelan children said, “What’s XBox?  Chavez won’t even let us have shoes.”

You may think I’m being hard on Chavez, but I didn’t think Sean Penn read this column.